positivity – audrey di mola – folkloric futurism

vignettes, victories

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some wonderful, wonderful, wonderful things:

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i took one of the lil wild ones i babysit to a park in ravenswood i spent so much time playing in when i was little.. most of it has changed but some things remain, like those concrete tunnels. what a trip it was to crawl through them again, see the same vantage points, lean my back against the cool surface in the shadows. // i am an intensely, heartquakingly nostalgic person, to the point that my present is consistently affected by my past. ‘everything i’ve ever let go of has claw marks on it.’ // yet i realized- our task is not to forever mourn the innocence and precious discoveries of childhood, always looking backward, tears in our eyes. but to recognize that we are eternally children in the wake of the world’s wonder. we must STILL learn to use our bodies, expand for new thoughts and ideas, new questions, new perceptions. tear down everything we know to start again with something new. the wonder isn’t over once we learn to walk or talk, balance or write. keep remembering to forget that just because you’re older doesn’t mean you’re done learning and you can just relax into ‘this life,’ the day-to-day, the grind, whatever it is. we owe it to ourselves- past, present, future- to remember we are forever children, forever explorers, forever students of the word, the earth, movement, adventure, imagination.. light.

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do your heart’s work! my heart is so full helping out for a cause i wholeheartedly believe in- creating a new space for literature and literacy in queens with my beautiful and kickass friends at the queens bookshop initiative. getting to play and read to these kids was so wonderful- i even got to share one of my own favorite books from childhood, ‘the land of many colors.’ stories are forever, creativity is forever. we have to foster it in our kids as young as possible.. if you want to support them in their effort to build a second bookshop in queens (we only have ONE in our massive borough right now) please donate to their kickstarter and stay updated throughout their journey!!

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making. this. real. coming to the former wills building at 43-01 21st st, may 18-22, 2016 for the 6th annual LIC arts open festival // Known throughout Queens for her explosive poetry, performance, and curatorial work, this is LIC native Audrey Dimola’s first art installation. ‘go slowly, see miracles’ is an immersive amalgam of hidden treasures and alcoves of memories, a cross between a lost boy’s wilderness hideaway, a secret grotto in the mind, and the gritty intersections of love, identity, and nostalgia. It features a variety of never before seen mixed media art pieces, 3D poetry, found objects, sound and visuals, and more- exploring wild spirituality, descents into darkness, reclamation and annunciation. The work is specially presented in this form for LICAO 2016.

things like THIS happen in the promo video they shot..!

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(video no longer exists)

and most recently…

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after MANY years of wanting to do this, and running along with checking off bucket list items (like the polar bear plunge!) in my 29th year… i finished the five boro bike tour this past weekend!!! // i was so emotional at so many points throughout this trip. just remembering the darkest moments and feeling this, NOW. knowing there’s no limit to life, to the way it can surprise you, how things you dream of are even better when your sweat and hard work make them REAL. despite the rain & cold we didn’t back down from the challenge today.. here’s to riding hard, living wild, and renewed faith in my own strength. i let out a peter pan crow while whizzing down the verrazano to the finish. i will never forget this day & the one soul i had beside me the entire time.. love and eternal gratitude for this entire experience and my wonderful family for being our pit crew in LIC!

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to survive in this world we constantly have to remind ourselves that wildly multitasking is not the goal, going faster than everyone else is not the goal.. being fully present** is.

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also… i could not feel more blessed about working as the new public programs coordinator at my beloved socrates sculpture park!!!

30 years ago, this year, socrates sculpture park and i were born in long island city. i am so proud, elated, excited & inspired to announce that as of last month, i’m the park’s new public programs coordinator! socrates sculpture park has given me SO MUCH- for literally as long as i can remember i’ve spent days and nights playing, writing, observing, and seeking solace within its gates. its home has always been my home. now in its 30th year, which will also be my 30th year this august, i get to give back.. gratitude doesn’t even begin to describe.

never give up // never give up

[all upcoming events are listed HERE

keep the fire in your belly & the gratitude in your heart.. biggest big love!

are you ready, brothers & sisters?!

mashups

tis the season for thanks and i’m grateful for new opportunities to STRETCHHH those creative muscles, especially as the fall & winter set in. don’t let your heart go cold! the photo above is from the first ever MASHUPS performance (an interdisciplinary experiment of artists collaborating on the spot!) at queens council on the arts which was a night i will NEVER forget- MASSIVE love to my collaborators & the audience we vibed with <3

nature of the muse

TONIGHT! 11/12 7:30-9:30pm
NATURE OF THE MUSE reading & live writing show
by the FIRE in the carriage house at LIC Bar @ 45-58 vernon blvd in LIC
[facebook invite] *flyer by gianna ligammari!
feat: writers yi wu, tippy rex, sydney hartlove nichols, timothy bell & steven licardi with special musical guests janna pelle & luca difabio!
called ‘one of the most exciting literary events in the city’ by BORO mag, 5 writers will share their previously written work and then write LIVE from random prompts written by YOU, the audience! plus fantastic musical guests. ignite your MUSE with us!

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NEXT WEEK! 11/18 8:30-10:30pm
THE RISE OF NEON REBEL/ a gathering of creatives
Q.E.D. a place to show & tell @ 27-16 23rd ave in astoria
[facebook invite]
my BFF & fellow rebel artist nick neon is returning from korea after 7 years and we’re formally kicking off our NEON REBEL collective of wild hearts making their own luck, supporting each other, and changing the world with their work and art. BE A PART OF THIS!! we’ll be partying at Q.E.D., sharing, inspiring, discussing, presenting, plotting future projects, and enjoying special guest speakers: sam from good.clean.fun, kenny from road to greatness, valerie from naked in alaska & monica from museum of impact PLUS music from spells & curses and other shenanigans!

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if you are constantly dreaming of ‘somewhere else’ – FIND that somewhere else. i promise it’s out there. because when you take steps in the direction of those things or places that bring you joy, you realize it was never about locating that somewhere else on a map. it was about FINDING YOURSELF and thus unlocking one of the most precious gifts of all- being at home everywhere. with all people, all things. wandering, far and wide- it doesn’t matter. you realize you’re not running away from anything, like they said you were. you are endlessly seeking because you are seeking yourself endlessly and perfectly reflected in all things. yes, this is the journey that never stops. why should it? you find yourself- your true self- over and over again, in doing the things you really love. in daring yourself, shattering the ego, doing the work, taking the chances, pushing the edges. REALITY IS MALLEABLE, PEOPLE. and the more you purely push and investigate your mystery, the more you’ll see the rules bend until you forget what rules were in the first place…

‘ordinary life does not interest me’ ..

are you coming with? ;)

never a dull moment.

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today is my beautiful little sister’s 18th birthday. man! time is flying. why do we always say that? i’m grateful to be here in this moment.. so grateful.

this past summer has been one of, if not the, most important of my life. i have learned that you cannot fight or force your feelings. every bit of anxiety, restlessness, electricity, emotion- comes from somewhere. and it’s up to you to stop resisting and start listening to what your body and your emotions are trying to tell you. the resulting journey may dismantle you, make people worry a lot about you, question your every move, and fracture the very ground you stand on. but i promise you- it has a purpose.

someday you’ll know why you were never satisfied.

here i stand, in the knowing.

i’ve started a journey to becoming a wilderness guide/educator and also realized how much i love talking to the newer generations about positivity, potential, and the power of words and thoughts. there have also been many moments in the months since the summer that have been downright pitch black. dizzying. soul splitting. but you realize that- this is the point. to push ourselves to our edges and then find the strength to push right PAST.

speaking to a room full of kids, exploring with new souls, sharing my art, taking risks, putting my process on display, going into the woods, learning brand new tasks, trudging up a mountain.. it’s all destroying the parts of me that aren’t golden. aren’t infinite. stripping the useless husks of ego.. to the eternal bloom of light that lies within.

i feel so grateful to everyone i’ve met on this path, whether still with me or not. whether long-standing or brand new. i feel like the universe is placing my steps.. and as scared as i get. as much as that darkness beckons. as much as the questions and the uncertainty whisper to me from the edges.. i know i have to push. and keep pushing. for myself, for everyone. choosing energy. choosing passion. choosing self-expression. choosing wildness. CHOOSING LIFE.

i wrote the piece below for the WORDS WITH WINGS show at THE GRIND on 9/30 that was my first step back into curating and performing after the summer. i also performed it for 10 classes in a row at my high school recently, and its meaning was solidified..

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i am walking forward, INTO THE WILD. events are coming up including MASHUPS on 10/28 at queens council on the arts, a wild rumpus night of new work and free creation featuring visual art, music, poetry, dance, and a wildcard theme of tarot! i will be pushing my own edges this night and we will be responding to each other, to the themes, to the audience, in the moment.

my third book is breaking its own edges.. i’m looking at early 2016 to heal wounds and honor this stretch of the journey since the summer. the process is beginning..

words are going up around my neighborhood and beyond as i re-embrace my duty as messenger.

i will keep challenging myself. and i will stay free. as my family has said, time and time again.. NEVER A DULL MOMENT. but how could there be?

‘without enchantment, the rest is useless’ (borges) —

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***

this. is. for. you:
it doesn’t matter how old you are
what you’re deathly scared of
what is hurting your heart.
it doesn’t matter how many times
you wake up feeling anxious
how many times you reach for
the pen, the camera, the brush, the computer,
the door- and feel it’s pointless.
you. must. go. on.

I BOW ONLY TO THE FIRE INSIDE ME &
THE WINGS ON MY BACK.

even when your palms are bleeding- open your hands. you must go on. your search for meaning amounts to this- above all- it is whatever you create. whatever meaning you ascribe, you are the scribe, the wild messenger. plunge your restless fingers into the dark and with all your heart, pry yourself from what you cannot belong to. put your paws in the earth, hang your fears on tree branches, and go.

if you don’t recognize yourself in the mirror, smash it. if your key doesn’t work, put your fist through the door. if your heart can’t possibly shatter any further, put a lantern in your chest. light a match in the endless tunnels twisting inside your head. IMAGINE a way out, the way you did when you were only a child- you had it right. all those monsters run away if you can shine a brighter light. so SHINE ON, my friends. as bright as you can. conjure your own spell for resurrection, believe again in your alchemy, necromancy, turn the blood to gold and gold to armor, you will live again to fight another day.

wander the desert. pick through the bones. sing in the forest. keep anything that echoes. let the ocean beat against you, let the steepness of the cliff dismantle your ego. and start again. and again. and again. and again. this is the wilderness codex, the code of living forever. dying as many times as you have to. the moment you hit the ground is the first breath that you heave again. if you can’t get up, can’t go on, can’t walk another step, just WILL YOUR WINGS TO WORK.

I BOW ONLY TO THAT FIRE INSIDE ME &
THOSE WINGS ON MY BACK.

so many of us are walking around powerless. i am calling to you, my sisters & brothers, my wild souls, my rebel poets, my warriors of the light.

wear no shoes, climb up to a roof, speak to your city, ignite the mic and as long as it comes from your burning heart don’t regret anything you have to say.

stop disappearing into a faceless army. stop going back to your apartment, doing your job, going to sleep. that tingling in your throat, it’s starting something. it may come out hoarse but it’s a beautiful beginning. the messenger gave you a legend, a scripture, a tale to tell around a fire the way we did in ancient days. your words can turn ash to ember.

BELIEVE it. NOW BLAZE.

***

EVENTS COMING UP:

10/28/15 – Audrey Dimola presents MASHUPS! performance & workshop at Queens Council on the Arts in Astoria [Facebook]

11/12/15 – Nature of the Muse fireside reading/live writing series returns to LIC Bar [Facebook]

11/18/15 – #neonrebellion kickoff with Nick Neon arrives at Q.E.D. in Astoria [Facebook]

start a fire this fall

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“IT IS NEVER A MISTAKE TO SEARCH FOR WHAT ONE REQUIRES. NEVER.”

“the hallmark of the wild nature is that it goes on. it perseveres. this is not something we do. it is something we are, naturally and innately.”

“the most important thing is to hold on, hold out, for your creative life, for your solitude, for your time to be and do, for your very life; HOLD ON.” – women who run with the wolves

it’s been a helluva summer.

i bless myself with this pen and page. your heart can’t beat when it’s stuck in a cage- GET OUT. get out. breathe. live. do. BE GRATEFUL. we feel lost because we don’t see a path but we forget that’s because WE have to blaze it. don’t like where you are? change it. grind against what’s killing you, shed your skin, begin again. it’s never too late for a new origin story. the dark is real but so is your armor- reflect the light and keep getting stronger… i bow only to the fire inside me & the wings on my back~*

HELLO BEAUTIFUL HUMANS. i’m riding the lightning & last bits of this thunderbolt of a summer. i haven’t done any curated events of my own since june but HERE COMES THE FALL!

please join me for these shows because they’re not only meant for presentation, they are meant for PARTICIPATION. i’m in the mood to keep brewing and hope you are too ;)

want to:
– create a pair of wings made of positive words
– respond in the moment to your fellow cross-genre artists
– cozy up by the fire for mayhem & magic
– experiment/engage/build community?!

i gotchu.

COME OUT:

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9/30/15 – WORDS WITH WINGS, co-producing/hosting all-poetry show with THE GRIND in LIC & its amazing founder, spoken word poet/motivator SAFIEL VONAY (this girl is bonkers, check her out). this is the kickoff & the fireworks show!! feat. thomas fucaloro, shafina ahmed, steven licardi & others, special intro by safiel & i, plus more: live art/feathers project/mini open mic/artists to support including my amazing sister april tigerlily! let’s start the fall on a good foot & remember our WINGS. 11-27 44th rd LIC, doors at 7pm, 7:30-11:30pm [more info]

10/28/15 – Audrey Dimola presents MASHUPS! performance/workshop at Queens Council on the Arts in Astoria. it’s been a longtime dream of mine to feature artists responding to each other across genres, in the moment (!) – visual art, dance, poetry & music. this is the first & if you’re into it, please attend/email me for future events! feat. dancer caitlyn casson, musician jacob horstmeier, & more. 37-11 35th ave in astoria, 6:30-8 or 8:30pm.

11/12/15 – My Nature of the Muse fireside reading/live writing series returns to LIC Bar! this show is my very first baby & i’m so excited to bring it back to LIC bar a little earlier this year! five writers share their previously written work & then write LIVE from random prompts written by the audience. did i mention it’s by the fire?! feat. alicen grey, timothy bell, tippy rex, hala alyan & yi wu, w/special musical guests katelyn richards & luca difabio. 45-58 vernon blvd in LIC, 7:30pm.

11/18/15 – #neonrebellion kickoff with Nick Neon arrives at Q.E.D. in Astoria. want to be a part of a new supportive community of rebel-artists sharing work, asking questions, taking risks & encouraging each other to make art? stay tuned. we about the rock the joint. 27-16 23rd ave in astoria, 8:30pm.

***PS***

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thanks to my awesome brother i’m returning to my roots in journalism with a new arts interview webshow (!!!) called ART FOR THE WILD produced by colored in black productions, shot & edited by my aforementioned videographer/editor brother dominick! debut episodes feature one of my favorite collaborators & humans in general, MARC MONTFLEURY! check it out! can’t wait to share more stories & performances of the amazing folks i know & love..

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i’m SUPER proud to announce my story is appearing in an amazing book & initiative from my fantastic friend josh rivedal called The i’Mpossible Project: Reengaging With Life, Creating a New You. there are essays from myself and over 40 other life-warriors who have overcome tremendous odds, like josh himself who turned tragedy into new beginnings and ways to help others. preorders start tomorrow, more info is here!

***PAYING IT FWD***

my girl monica montgomery is launching the world’s first mobile/pop-up social justice museum, the MUSEUM OF IMPACT, this sunday 9/20 at 4pm in harlem! please come and help make history! it will be popping up from the launch until 9/24, so come for events each day like five boro story project’s uptown social justice story share 9/22 (from my other wonderful friend bridget!).

growing heart farm in upstate NY gave me so much this summer by accepting me with open arms & allowing me to work & stay in nature, and i want everyone to know what magic and healing they bring. please join them for an open retreat weekend with exploration, movement, yoga, and farm food (!!) oct 2-4. more info is here!

***LET ME TELL YOU Y’ALL***

THERE ARE NO MISTAKES IN ART.

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(new handmade versions of compass project poetry!)

go north / go forth,

origin story

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But often, in the din of strife,
There rises an unspeakable desire
After the knowledge of our buried life;
A thirst to spend our fire and restless force
In tracking out our true, original course;
A longing to inquire
Into the mystery of this heart which beats
So wild, so deep in us- to know
Whence our lives come and where they go. -m. arnold

the journey, my friends, the journey. walking these unfamiliar paths, meeting souls that feel familiar. on the land which always, always feels like home. working on the farm. learning wilderness survival and so much more about awareness, presence, movement. these days- i will never forget them.

You will erase everything you had written in the book of your life up until now: restlessness, uncertainty, lies. And in the place of all this you will write the word courage. By beginning the journey with that word and continuing with faith in God, you will arrive wherever you need to arrive. -p. coelho

in that spirit- here is my origin story.

this is my retelling of the story of LA LOBA, wolf woman, passed down to dr. clarissa pinkola estés in the incredible book, women who run with the wolves. inspired by recent experiences, my tribe, and the wild spirit that keeps me traveling forward. forward. forward.

* * *

Out under the milky moon after a day of scorching sunlight there is a woman moving slowly but purposefully through the desert. She has many names, but in this case we shall call her the wolf woman. La Loba.

She moves about almost undetected- you might catch a glimpse of her silvering hair amidst cactus flowers, her gnarled fingers stretching between jagged rocks or sifting sands. La Loba is silently searching through this landscape to uncover the bones.

These are the wild parts of ourselves- the indestructible, even by flame- the bones, and the wild life force within that gets buried, hidden, stolen away without us even knowing it.

Many of us find ourselves undertaking what seems like an impossible journey through the desert. Grains and grains of sand, rocks, spiked plants, cliffs, dunes. The landscape tricking our eyes, all seeming endless- the same. But we must do it. We must trust that each movement has a purpose, that this search is not in vain- like La Loba does.

As she finds these buried bones, each, one by one, she brings them back to her desert cave, piecing the wild skeleton back together in the dust beside the glowing firelight. And in the space between each placement, each adjustment, La Loba begins to sing.

Singing over the bones is what our soul is calling us to do when we feel displaced unrest. To go into that desert of the psyche, retrieve those lost parts of ourselves- and sing. Sing with our whole soul, our utmost and fully alive- for all the things we love and long for every morning at the break of day, in the quiet unfolding of night, and all the moments in between. Just SING. Without fear of what it sounds like, but only with heart.

And little by little as La Loba sings, the skeleton of bones in the dust winds itself back together- sinew and muscle, tissue and fur, little by little- this wild creature, almost lost to the dunes, begins to twitch, shake, stir- begins to BREATHE again, pump blood again, open its eyes and awake into full being again.

The wolf gets up as La Loba beams gently through the shadows and flickering light of the cave- and with a tail swish and its ears pricked up, it darts out into the distance, out of the cave and into the desert- eyes shining, howl swirling through its ribcage, paws beating in the moonlight, faster and faster until that wolf, that wild soul, searched for and sang back to life by the light of the fire- that creature becomes a girl running through the dunes and desert flowers.

And she is laughing. She is grateful. She is whole.

* * *

This girl will remember where she came from, and dedicate her life to the spirit of wild love that resurrected her. And in so doing, she will become an aspect of La Loba herself. It is this way the circle of discovery and rediscovery, losing and finding, wandering and wishing, leaving and returning- is never broken.

We sing our wild souls back to life- and then we help others do it too.

It is this way we keep the flow of gratitude moving.

It is this way we reassemble our tribe.

–

holy, holy grandmother we sing
wash us clean of our pain and suffering
give us strength for our new beginnings
from my deepest thanks i sing…

love to you warriors, wish-children, wild souls, spirits of light.

if you’re in the NYC area and enjoy arts/music/lit/mischief, come see me at LAST FRIDAYZ at local project on 7/31 or queens lit fest on the wkend of aug 1 & 2 at LIC bar in queens! more performance info on the events page.

also- my piece ‘whenever you fall i will be there to catch you’ will appear in great weather for MEDIA‘s latest collection, Before Passing, out august 1. nothing like a sweet hard-copy.. excite!

flickering,

reeducation of the wild girl

BILLY: Nice and cool out here. Stars look like the milk of heaven. Peaceful. A man could—
ROSA: Change?
–anaya

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there once was a girl
who thought she was too wild to be loved.

her mind had been fragmented
by too much useless information
and too much worry.
too many expectations
and too much distraction.

she cut her ties to the world and laid down in the grass,
looking up at the sky and the undersides of leaves.

she was going to find herself again.
feet in a field of dandelions, mind in the clouds.
she was going to steer her heart made of the sea.

this is the reeducation of the wild girl.

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ladies & gents,

reporting to you from the other side of the rainbow.

i’m no longer using social media, for the summer or – ever? ;)

please feel free to follow these posts for pages ripped from the journey, or email me!

“when did you get so serious?
when did you let ‘em take it all away?
can you remember who you were before the world told you who you should be?

where is the simple joy of just sitting? staring out into space, imagining. storming the castle! kickin’ rocks. climbin’ trees. gettin’ scraped up.. it’s all still there,

inside you. waiting.

once upon a time – there were other things!
once upon a time there was..
falling asleep on the floor
and daydreaming on car rides
and talking to the moon.

remember those parties when you weren’t tucked away in some room, all alone? you were making plays.. ballroom dancing.. throwing disco parties with flashlights! .. you don’t have to grow up.

we think we know everything.

in the “real world” there’s no place for imagining..

there are four walls now.

but i want you to try to remember.. there don’t have to be any walls

at all.” –excerpt from THE WILD PAPERS

* THE WILD PAPERS debut last saturday as an interactive theatre performance was BEAUTIFUL – a hit at the latimer house and for the historic house trust’s #museumanarchy initiative!

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ready for a gajillion photos?!

more info on THE WILD PAPERS project is here, and i’ll post about future performances and workshops.

**edit: speaking of.. the wild papers special ENCORE is JUNE 20, 6pm @ latimer house! :)

see also:

“In a single sentence there are whole universes. Audrey Dimola and her newest installment, Traversals, reminds us of that.”

“There is beauty in her transformation into a woman who cannot be ignored. The flame burns as her words (“moments—isn’t it always/ what I come back to?/ And—is it just as often/ implicit/ that we must/ leave them all/ behind?”) sting. One can imagine the pauses in her delivery, the answer in so simple a question.

If you look closely, you may find a mantra or two to soothe a weary day or cause a hidden anniversary to be less regretful. Audrey’s prose is akin to a late night red wine binge with a good friend. No judgment, and no excess sugar either. Traversals is sweet enough as it is, and can be read straight through or in 3 stop spurts. It is the mirror of a changing city and a changing soul, ambient and pure – a phoenix breaking free, and encouraging us all to do the same.”

“To be a poet is to be brave enough to tread trough the darkest forest of the subconscious. […] Occasionally a poet comes along with a rhythm in their soul that echoes that of an entire city, a blaring staccato that slices through cement like torrents, hugging and cracking the earth. Audrey’s words cut. Talk about a poet in the wild.”

* the gorgeous diana benigno wrote an equally gorgeous review of my latest book of poetry & prose, “TRAVERSALS,” and you can read it HERE. (thankyouthankyouthankyou)

if you want to snag some of the last copies of the first run, you can order it on paypal or see other options HERE.

and finally:

here’s what i’ve been doing. writing stories & sitting in trees..

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there was once a girl who lived in a tree. she knew there were many things going on around her but much preferred staying up in a tree. one day a robin landed on a branch as she was reclining among the leaves as she always did. ‘why do you not explore?’ the robin asked. ‘your conscious is your own set of wings.’ the wind blew in confirmation. ‘but it is not real wings,’ the girl replied. ‘i just want to stay up here and look around.’ ‘what about the gift of perspective?’ the wolf asked, slinking up, in the dirt around the strong dark trunk. ‘what i see down here is different from what you see up there. and same for the robin who can see everything from heights way, way up in the sky.’ ‘i still much like this perspective. it’s safer,’ the girl said, throwing her arms around a wide branch. ‘everything i need is here. the sound of the wind. the shine of the leaves. animals like you all around me. and a place to stay.’ ‘but remember..’ the robin said, tilting its head to the side, ‘you are unique. and you will never know how unique until you fully experience this world.’ ‘the tree is your home,’ the wolf added, ‘but why can’t everything else be too?’ the girl thought for a moment and tightened her grip on the tree. the robin sensed her apprehension and landed closer to her. ‘sometimes only in leaving something and returning to it can you fully understand how special it is,’ the robin said gently. the wolf smiled its fangy grin. ‘be like the forest. the wind. the leaves. the bark. the dirt. the sunshine,’ he said, looking up at her. ‘you might be surprised to find it’s all a part of you already, and everywhere you go..’ the robin chimed in: ‘it will be there.’ the girl thought for awhile about laying splayed among the branches and never wanting to leave. but she also wanted to be strong enough to know what else there was out there. she gave the tree a super tight squeeze and climbed down, smiling at the wolf and the robin. ‘thank you for being here,’ she said. ‘i’m ready to discover that the world is in me just as i am in the world..’ she took a pause, looking up at her beautiful tree. ‘and that you are never, ever far from the things you hold in your heart.’ ‘be brave,’ the tree seemed to say as her feet touched the grass. and she would.

it’s never too late to start again,

ten things

wolf rules for life

ten things i’ve learned, realized, affirmed, and opened my heart to so far in 2015:

1. good love is so damn hard to find. cherish it, work on it, honor it. protect it. keep it interesting and honest. give each other space. love each other wholeheartedly. for exactly as you are.

2. honor the cycles in yourself, your mind, your libido, your emotions, your body. no one can be any ONE way, all the time. or even at an even keel all the time. stop punishing yourself for it.

3. we are of a dual nature. especially women. “women who run with the wolves” is changing my life.

“understanding this dual nature in women sometimes causes men, and even women themselves, to close their eyes and hail heaven for help. the paradox of women’s twin nature is that when one side is more cool in feeling tone, the other side is more hot. when one side is more lingering and rich relationally, the other may be somewhat glacial. often one side is more happy and elastic, while the other has a longing for “i know not what.” one may be sunny, while the other is bittersweet and wistful. these “two-women-who-are-one” are separate but conjoined elements which combine in the psyche in thousands of ways.” (estés)

4. everything will terrify you and overwhelm you. it’s all an experience. take what you can from it.

5. don’t try so hard. stop taking everything so seriously. try new things. if they don’t work out, so what? what’s the alternative – staying in limbo? not for you.

something i wrote in high school..

being comfortable

6. silently honor the moments you are given. take a pause. if you feel overwhelmed, just stop. take a breath. call to mind some things to be grateful for.

7. yoga/body movement makes you feel better. always. give yourself the time to express.

8. taking time to make food instead of ordering it. feeling it with your fingers. burning it.. sometimes ;) it’s all part of it.

9. social media eats your brain. so does multitasking. it’s not a skill, it’s a mind-melter. focus-robber. stop trying to do everything. compartmentalize. leave the notifications alone. if you don’t check/answer your email, the world will not explode. if you miss an opportunity, it wasn’t for you anyway.

10. play video games. laugh. do headstands. roll around on the floor. cuddle. dance to a record player. imagine. veer off the path. come back to the path. no matter what.. all roads lead to home.

mystic truths

may you all acknowledge the wildness & beauty in YOU, at THIS very moment,

come out & PLAY

don't let your heart go cold icicles

every single day is one step closer to spring ;) got some fun stuff coming up for you in MARCH & APRIL!

** Queens Lit in Action! with Audrey Dimola at Queens Council on the Arts 3/6/15 [I NFO]

with funding from Poets & Writers, i’ll be using the Queens Council on the Arts “3rd Space” for a new event i conceptualized called QUEENS LIT IN ACTION – it’s a straight-up solo reading PLUS some kind of audience engagement activity (that’s the ACTION! part) like a writing exercise, discussion, presentation, collab, panel, etc. i’m kicking it off with networking, readings from TRAVERSALS & new work, AND writing exercises/discussion involving wildness & nostalgia based on the interdisciplinary show i’m working on right now, THE WILD PAPERS**. please come! & look out for future variations of this event at QCA ;)

** hosting (one of the longest running Queens reading series, my O.G.!!) Boundless Tales Reading Series at Astoria Bookshop 3/12/15 [INFO]

** my Nature of the Muse reading & live writing show returns to the fireside carriage house at LIC Bar! – 3/26/15 readers will present their previously written works and THEN write LIVE from random prompts written by YOU, the audience! did i mention it’s by the FIRE?! [INFO]

** featured Community Poet at the Fringe Verses Open Mic & Poetry presentation at LaGuardia Performing Arts Center for Rough Draft Festival 3/31/15 [INFO]

** NEW SERIES! very excited to be one of the Featured Readers at the DEBUT of the monthly LIC Reading Series in the carriage house at LIC Bar! 4/14/15 [INFO]

** i’m also on a brand new adventure as one of 24 participating local artists in Jeanne Van Heeswijk’s “Public Faculty no. 9” at Queens Museum – May 2015 [INFO]

ALSO…

audrey dimola compass project

COMPASS PROJECT IS BACK!
the guerrilla sticker poetry project i started back in 2012 is on again! look out for ’em & let me know if you want some, especially if you live out of state & want to stick ’em up around YOU! i’ve sent ’em out to jersey, missouri, michigan, canada, south korea & more, and i’m very happy to say they’ll be appearing at MelimeL Digital Art Design‘s 2015 Women Empowerment event next month! more info on the project & tons of fotos are HERE.

& OF COURSE..
“I am on page 60, and am completely blown away! I’m a reader, and writer of poetry too, and I must say, your words have captured some of my deepest emotions in regards to past loves. I feel so connected to your writing… very few can tug at my heart with their words, but you’ve managed to do that… this is a true gift. Moments I feel like I’m reading Neruda, one of my favorite poets. I’m utterly moved. Thank you, TRAVERSALS is truly a precious, one of a kind gift that you generously shared with the world.” -t.m. bella, writer & poet
signed copies of my newest collection of poetry and prose, TRAVERSALS, are available directly from me via PAYPAL, at the Astoria Bookshop & also at Q.E.D.: A Place to Show & Tell in astoria! support yer local biz!

NOT TO MENTION…
QUEENS LIT is ALIVE & KICKIN’ & don’t let ANYONE tell you otherwise ;) check out this list of QUEENS LIT RESOURCES for ways to get involved!

we only have this life. this moment. to see through these eyes, feel with these hands, create with this mind, love with this heart. remember – even in the grit, the sorrow, the bewilderment, the ache. this is what we’ve got. it doesn’t have to be perfect. or in the right key. or fit for mass consumption. but as long as it’s yours, and you made it with HEART – you help the collective fire to burn another day.

(thnx forever&ever for adventuring with me)

c’mon let’s go,

**PS: THE WILD PAPERS is going to be my baby for awhile.. it’s a multidisciplinary show/experience involving themes of wildness, nostalgia, childhood, peter pan, wonder, resiliency, etc. it’s something i’ve been wanting to do since the beginning of last year and everything i do is going to tie back to it.. including, hopefully, going on a cross-country tour with my best friend, nick neon, and his forthcoming feature film. DREAMS.

wyvern

PPS: two of my prose pieces were published in WYVERN LIT’s latest issue, “i study your details” and “all i can do now.” YES! seriously, wyvern is amazing. such a wonderful process & editor!

grateful for AND’s…

i am so excited to say that the #UseYourAnd campaign has officially LAUNCHED!

useyourand

the Gillette Venus #UseYourAnd global campaign launched yesterday to celebrate the BEAUTY of being OUTSIDE THE BOX. it’s centered around this video, which i am so lucky to be featured in:

Show “or” the door-this is the story of “&”. The story of realizing your true potential. Put an end to the one-dimensional labels that limit your potential. Because you are beautiful AND smart. You can be an astronaut AND a soccer player AND a ballerina. Your life is composed of many ANDs – an empowering sum of all of the things you are, and all you want to be. Venus invites you and women everywhere to take a stand against one-dimensional labels. #UseYourAnd.

there are no words to say how grateful i am to be part of a campaign that hones in on something i believe in SO strongly: being bold and multi-faceted in the face of labels – overcoming all those gatekeepers that are CONSTANTLY trying to hold us back or pin us down. it’s all about making people FEEL something.. and reading the comments from friends and strangers alike is truly heart-stirring. this is what it’s about – reminding each other why we’re here and who we truly are. that there is no box, no cage, no boundary that can contain us. we are limitless. wild AND smart AND bold AND… :)

THANK YOU so much to the entire cast, crew, and production team. i will NEVER forget this experience.

here’s also a fantastic look at the story behind the campaign:

(video no longer available)

You are too beautifully complex for a simple label. Venus is on a mission to put an end to one-dimensional labels that limit your potential. Because you can rock an outfit & the stage. Win the race & the crown. Climb mountains & corporate ladders. You are beauty & brains. Grace & guts. Time to show “or” the door and believe in the power of &.Venus invites women everywhere to take a stand against one-dimensional labels and #UseYourAnd.

i LOVE how i am listed as “poet & optimist”!! and i LOVE how Gillette took steps to find REAL girls with REAL stories.. my soul-sisters in these videos are incredible, and there is nothing more rewarding than to be cast for who you really are. i feel so blessed to be doing one of the things i love most in the world, performing poetry/spoken word, for this campaign.

please share, tweet, like, and of course HASHTAG #UseYourAnd on all forms of social media to share YOUR journey and your limitless qualities, and to help bring this story to other friends and loved ones. it’s our positive revolution, one soul at a time, all across the globe…

so incredible.

see more from Gillette Venus on Facebook, Twitter & YouTube!

infinitely,

* by the way, just in case anyone lands here from elsewhere – gillette venus wrote the fantastic words (not me), then found a real poet to perform it (me!). :)

happy wild new year

you are a warrior

last day of 2014.. this year has given me so much. the first year i really, truly began to LIVE FREE. through loss, through change, through pushing further, through smashing up against walls, crashing through mirrors, feeling the RUSH, the elation of knowing the universe is racing hard alongside you, spurring you onward – yes, yes, YES.

work

i spent last night planning and plotting with my best friend in the whole world. i feel again that everything has a purpose. that the compass in your heart is the only thing worth following. that everything else is noise.

i have found the wildness once more.

this year i performed on stages big and small, released TRAVERSALS to the world, experimented, collaborated, cried, forgot how to cry, burned, moved, ran, shook, curled in the shadows, and burst into the light once again. i’ve been on TV and on the internet, in books and in the trees..

audrey inspired word

tree

but i have learned that what truly matters – is walking the walk. practicing what you preach. remaining a student. learning everyday. staying humble but staying WILD. staying GRATEFUL. pushing harder. patting yourself on the back. trusting your instincts. because you KNOW. you always.. know.

what matters is warmth. transparency. and connection. the REALNESS of the experience that we are all here to dance and struggle and sing to.

there is no going back once you embrace potentiality. the possibility of every moment. the realization that it doesn’t matter anymore what THEY think, what ANYONE thinks, what it looks like from the OUTSIDE. keeping up appearances..

what matters.. is YOU. raw, real YOU.

this is all i am – and all that i can be. rediscovering the WILD WOMAN we somehow lose along the way..

“It is these fleeting tastes which come both through beauty as well as loss, that cause us to become so bereft, so agitated, so longing that we eventually must pursue the wildish nature. Then we leap into the forest or into the desert or into the snow and run hard, our eyes scanning the ground, our hearing sharply tuned, searching under, searching over, searching for a clue, a remnant, a sign that she still lives, that we have not lost our chance. And when we pick up her trail, it is typical of women to ride hard to catch up, to clear off the desk, clear off the relationship, clear out one’s mind, turn to a new page, insist on a break, break the rules, stop the world, for we are not going on without her any longer.”
-Women Who Run With The Wolves, Clarissa Pinkola Estes, PhD

i will keep living. and talking myself into living.. i will keep feeling. i will keep remembering. even when it hurts.. i will separate nostalgia from pain. try hard. make it come alive again. make it all pure. turn it into fuel. because i am a magician.. alchemist. blood and sweat and fire turned to happy tears.

i have always been too loud, too wild, too restless in my thoughts and emotions.

this shining set of wings, they hurt when they broke through but now –

after the unendurable. after the grief..

they belong.

BEST WISHES from my heart to yours for two-thousand-fifteen.

thank you INFINITELY for your love, support & inspiration..

CATCH ME

* In the Winter 2015 issue of Queens Library’s “Enrich Your Life”

audrey dimola queens library

* In Kingston University’s Words, Pauses, Noises

* On NY1 TV talking about TRAVERSALS & Queens lit – watch here!

* In a Local Express feature interview in the Queens Gazette newspaper

* And in a Gillette Venus internet campaign for 2015 – YES! #UseYourAnd!

UPCOMING EVENTS

* Hosting Boundless Tales Reading Series 1/8/15, 7pm [Facebook]

* Featured Reader at Queens Library Main Branch (Jamaica) 1/11/15, 2-4pm [Website]

* Featured Performer at Mike Geffner’s The Inspired Word 5-Year Anniversary Extravaganza 1/17/15, 7pm [Website]

* Hosting & Curating my Nature of the Muse fireside reading & live writing show! 1/29/15, 7:30pm – featuring Marc Montfleury, Roya Marsh, Valerie G. Keane, Kevin Marquez, and special musical guests Jeanne Marie Boes and Geoff Ong. [Facebook]

TRAVERSALS!

My second book was released in November 2014. Get it directly from ME via PayPal or on the shelves of the Astoria Bookshop!

traversals astoria bookshop

So grateful for the amazing feedback.. The journey is everything.

gianna traversals

“I’ve never heard you speak but I heard cracks and cries of voice not unfamiliar, the words came right off the page. And I sat in a dark cafe but the space was illuminated because the pages went by, flames in my hands. You have a powerful rhythm and song to your writing…”
–g. ligammari, artist

“Enjoyed every poem, some of them made me laugh and others made me teary-eyed. This Queens radiant poet is as honest and open as any human can be…” –wendy angulo, CEO/founder of wendy angulo productions, & curator of canvas of words

“Audrey = magic. Every day. Get the book – it’s a stunner.” –anne born, author of a marshmallow on the bus

traversals praise

Get more info about TRAVERSALS, excerpts, and additional reviews!

Discovery: it’s whatever you want it to be.

There is so much I want to say about TRAVERSALS, the launch, new adventures and struggles and challenges, but first.. This.

heartwall

Remember the way it was when you were a kid.

I like this concept of the personal essay. I don’t like that my computer is forcing me to use upper-case I’s. But I digress.

I can’t stop dipping back into the past. But with recent readings I feel better about my constant sense of longing. I am at odds.. I am the ennui-obsessed artist constantly stretching fingertips towards the sky. However I also have been so lucky to learn about Eastern philosophies and all of those New Age-y teachings that have thankfully become so much more prevalent now.. BE GRATEFUL. For what you have. Inherently does that mean – don’t REACH?

I feel bad for reaching. Guilt. Something I always tangle with.. How can I be the fully present, open-eyed, grateful yogini while also grappling with the sense of ennui that makes me create? (And get into trouble…) I think I need to accept – they are both part of me. There is no grand transformation that is one day going to occur to make me think and feel the way I’m “supposed to” to live a better, fuller life.

I am a wildchild. That means many things.. That means embracing all parts of myself – the stillness of the forest, the tumble of the river, the CRASH of a waterfall.

I am everything.

oliver

And this is why I cannot stop reaching towards the past. Although I was not exempt from anxieties, fears of mortality, insomnia, boredom, etc etc etc – there was something different. Something us “grown-ups” are always trying to get back.

When you were little – when you wanted to do something, you did it. Even though you had no money of your own and little means besides imagination, household objects, and whatever your parents or loved ones gave you.. I remember. Without training or schooling or funds or qualifications – you just were.

If you wanted to be a photographer, you took pictures. If you wanted to be a dancer, you danced. An acrobat, a writer, a choreographer, a teacher, an explorer, a singer.. There was no knee-jerk reaction to stop yourself and say, waitwaitwait – I can’t be THAT because I am THIS. Or I don’t have enough money, time, resources, influence, on and on. And my personal favorite – who am I to think I can be X, Y, or Z? Who the hell do I think I AM?

Why, would you look at that. Who the hell do I think I am? Whatever I want to be.

I feel like the actions we took when we were little are a wonderful compass to follow when it comes to direction for the rest of our lives – because we truly did what we wanted to, without worrying about what anyone else would think. At least I did.

I was Renaissance woman before I even truly knew what the Renaissance was. I was a singer, poet, playwright, director & stage manager, athlete, obstacle course organizer, amusement park builder, adventure leader, teacher, circus coach. Imaginary figure skater. Radio DJ.. I always come back to this because I need to REMEMBER. We all do.

When we are spinning out in life.. Trace your way back to your little self – the being who did whatever gave them JOY. Would your kid self waste time with things they didn’t want to do? Naw. And I’m not talking about quitting your job! Running into the hills! Never paying bills! I’m talking about.. Connecting to your true self, which I think is so pure when you’re a child. Connect to that self, and dream boldly the way you used to. Do what you can, where you are – the way you did when you were a child. A blanket becomes a fort. Your living room becomes the woods. A pile of pillows is the ocean to dive into. Need palm trees for the beach? Draw them, cut them out, and stick them up on the wall. Not good enough? We didn’t even have a second to consider it..

It sounds so rudimentary but with our world constantly beating us up and dumbing us down and distracting us – we FORGET! Ah, God, always – we forget. We clutter ourselves with CONDITIONS, CIRCUMSTANCES, dare I say EXCUSES! But you know what?

It’s okay.

Because just like you changed from a mermaid into a unicorn with the flick of a wrist when you were a kid – you can change your circumstance. The slightest, tiniest efforts – they matter.

Some days – they just suck. You know it. I know it. But infuse your life with that little kid magic.. You haven’t lost it. Even if you have to search down deep in the darkest caverns of your mind..

Your inner child is waiting with a lantern.. and the promise of ADVENTURE.

light

GO!

TRAVERSALS is out NOW

The day is finally here..

My second collection of poetry & prose, TRAVERSALS, meets the world.

CLICK HERE to order a signed & dedicated copy directly from me, securely via PayPal (please note you do not need to have a PayPal account).

If you would rather not use PayPal, you can buy an UNSIGNED copy directly from Amazon HERE. OR if you’re in the Astoria, Queens area, you can pick one up from the Astoria Bookshop!

174 pages of original poetry & prose!

if you can’t move, let the breath move..
if you can’t be the ship, be the oar.
if you can’t be the oar, be the compass.
if you can’t be the compass, be the slightest stirring
in the voyager’s heart that told him –
i will not waste this day like all the others.
if you can’t be the voyager, be the faintest flickering
of the arrow magnetized towards whatever is greater –
whatever you can see in that last moment,
with your eyes widened and the water in your lungs –
that suddenly makes you forget how to drown…

“the backbone of this book is a celebration of the knowing + the unknowing in one life + heart. of memories + freedom. a call to those warriors we meet on the paths we take who bring us light. that stranger who becomes a lover who becomes a ghost. the one who leaves an imprint in our desert for the rest of time like the eroding of rock turned river. the ghosts of our past, of ourselves, of promises long broken. and what we choose to do with these ghosts…” -nick neon, film + music video director, screenwriter & creative director @ rollthedicepictures.com

“Audrey Dimola uses words to harness light, and this collection of poetry and prose brings that light to dark places and broken spaces. With her native New York feet, wildchild spirit, and poetic fingertips, the author selflessly cuts open her own scars to reveal that beauty can emerge from pain. Using her writing gift and keen understanding of the human condition, she howls at the light of the moon so that the reader does not drown in darkness. The beauty of the moonlight remains in the reader’s heart and mind long after reading the words.” -maria karaiskos, nyc teacher

From the author: A series of events in my life that began in that Fall of 2011 spurred it on. It was unavoidable. I lost my beautiful firecracker of a Nana and then my longest relationship, left my solid job, and then met the explosive muse who struck the arc of TRAVERSALS. And it went on after that – dazzling highs and startling lows, wildness and bewilderment, adventures with beautiful souls I will never forget. That’s what TRAVERSALS chronicles, what gets left behind and how we honor what we have experienced – the people we’ve loved, lost, suffered with, and let go; the brave hearts in the trenches beside us; the ones that breathe new life into us; the ghosts we are haunted by and the ghosts we become in the lives of others.. At the end of the day TRAVERSALS is really about the resiliency of the human heart – trusting the process, trusting the journey when it comes to life and art.

And if you’re in the NYC area, please join me for the BOOK LAUNCH & PERFORMANCE PARTY at the brand new Q.E.D. venue in Astoria, Queens!

Thursday, November 13th
7:30-9:30pm
at the brand new Q.E.D.: A Place to Show & Tell venue
in Astoria, Queens!
(27-16 23rd Avenue, Astoria-Ditmars Blvd N/Q stop)

Join Queens-born poet/performer/firecracker Audrey Dimola as she celebrates the release of her second collection of poetry & prose, TRAVERSALS. Known for anything but perpetuating the traditional reading format, you can count on an interdisciplinary love-fest, semi-inappropriate jokes, and tales of the triumph of the human spirit.

Talented friends of the poetic, musical, and dancey variety will be on hand to perform and debut special collaborations (and books will be for sale, of course!): Poet/singer Valerie G. Keane, dancer/choreographer Kymberly Nolden, musician/actor/dancer Jacob Horstmeier (with violinist/singer Margaret-Ellen Jeffreys!), poet/musician Marc Montfleury & playwright/musician Tyler Rivenbark combine powers with Audrey herself for an evening both fun and heartfelt.

RSVP at the FACEBOOK INVITE!

Thank you ALL endlessly for your love, light & support.. The journey begins again. XXOO