audrey dimola[art for the wild]

Posts Tagged ‘inspiration

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beautiful friends,

for the past three years, this time leading up to, and through, the winter solstice has been the most difficult. for the first time- i have embraced the darkness. i have embraced the deaths. i have embraced mySelf.

my new theatrical show “PROVENANCE” is my offering to that end. it is the most cherished performance i have conceived and my final act of forgiveness to mySelf, as i close the chapters i have thus lived and begin anew. “PROVENANCE” is the origin story- a retracing of my past- but also- the origin of the new beginning.

it would mean so much to me to share this performance with you– to hear your thoughts as i move into a realm i have never before created in. it is also the 7 year anniversary of my beloved nana’s passing. and in a space- the LIC-A/plaxall gallery- that has helped save my life time and again since 2016 by allowing me the space to create freely in my brokenness.

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“PROVENANCE”
tuesday, december 18, 2018 @ 7:30-9:30pm – $5
LIC-A/plaxall gallery 5-25 46th avenue in LIC

conceived & written by audrey wildfire dimola // featuring steven t. licardi, kymberly nolden, matthew toth, & introducing riley batson

“they say the longing becomes holy eventually
if it doesn’t kill you first”

PROVENANCE is the intersection between the journey to love; the journey to self, which is also to god; and the journey to make peace with the darkness.

part ritual, part poetry, part music, part movement- it is an exploration of the viscerality of want. how it drives us, transforms us. ‘the wanting creature.’ its connections to love, sex, spirit, and mental illness. and how, if we push far enough- this grief-filled longing becomes ecstatic, transcendent, holy- a means for return to true self, a return to god.

https://www.licartists.org/provenance
[FB invite]

ALSO COMING UP:

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if you’re in the hood tonight 12/13/18, i host the first volume of NEIGHBORHOOD MIXTAPE, a new spoken word, music, and comedy show in partnership with the badass folks over at CHATEAU LE WOOF– 6-9pm [more info]

after the winter solstice, on 12/22/18, my BRO dominick hosts the wonderful community we’ve created at the now 1 year old flor de azalea cafe in astoria for “YOUR FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD OPEN MIC“, 5-8pm [more info]

AS OUR NEIGHBORHOOD CHANGES /// we must give EXTRA thanks for the supportive business owners and indie organizers who allow us artists and human beings to commune in their spaces. we may not be able to alter the course of drastic changes to come- but we can CONTINUE doing what artists have done for centuries- carve out their spaces to create, wherever and however they can. THANK YOU for being a part of that community.

if you are feeling the cold and darkness, i implore you- instead of resisting it- make friends with it. sit and light a candle and commune. talk to that anxiety, that dread, that emptiness. acknowledge that it’s there instead of trying to push it away, or feel guilty for not ‘enjoying the holidays like everyone else is’ … the winter solstice is an incredibly important time but we have lost touch with the mythology. create your own. and year by year, that legend will live.

if you told me three years ago in these dark days that i would be achieving my dream of mounting my first original theatre show.. who knows if i would’ve believed you. but i guess some part of me did.. because it grew from faintest, dying flicker.. to warmest light.

i am Here for you.

XXOO,

a.

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‘and what do you wield, warrior?’
‘the sword i pulled from my own heart.’
‘but you do not wish to carry this weapon, 
onward, for your journey?’
‘i only wish to carry a prayer. 
to see and be seen.’

hello out there my beauties,

i wanted to let you know that the most honest thing i have written on the internet has just been published by an amazing site called REBELLE SOCIETY- it’s called “how my experience with mental illness helped me trust my darkness.”

A wise and wild coyote once told me, “It is in happiness that you will find the seeds of sadness. And it is in sadness that you will find the seeds of light.”

When I was a kid, I couldn’t bear to be in complete darkness. Even as a teenager, there was always a light somewhere: a nightlight in the kitchen, light in a window next door, streetlight outside. My journey has been to find that light in myself, instead of always seeking it outwardly.

I didn’t know what true freedom was like until I lived through this story. I had a conception of freedom and a lot of daring cliff-jumps, but the darkness remained a sign and a trigger.

Throughout my whole life, this specter of the idea of darkness chased and chased me. Or maybe it never actually moved — just stood, luminous and unending — and I kept running. I have messages written all over my body, to remind myself of the truth — about the dark, about myself.

I have always been a personality of extremes. This is my gift, in my new legend: to be able to viscerally feel, process, move through ecstatic heights and drastic lows, with not much in between.

The “not much in between” though was my own conception. The instinct to keep running, searching for higher ground, safer territory, more abundant provisions, without realizing perhaps I could, with time, just stay here. Grow these seeds of my own planting. Take some time, gaze into the night, into the earth, into the darkness, into the silence, into myself, and not only see and receive what is there, but to trust it.

This is not just a story about struggling with mental illness. It is a story about what every man, woman and spirit is here to grapple with: personal freedom and personal truth, and how they are inextricably intertwined.

YOU CAN READ THE REST OF THE ESSAY [RIGHT HERE] …

it’s powerful and unnerving and surreal to be able to have clarity on this journey- and to be able to share it in this way, in a way that undercuts the usual disempowering narratives about mental illness and provides an entry point into radical recontextualization and reclamation of your own legend.

thanks to my fierce and wonder-full friend shafina, on 11/16 i will be telling an off-book, organic version of this story at my first storytelling show, HOW TO BUILD A FIRE, at open source gallery one week from today. the theme is RESILIENCE [more info]

some more events coming up: [here]
and my latest book of poetry & prose, WILDLIGHT, is still on sale [here] !

i’m open to your thoughts, words, wishes- let me know if you have ideas for collabs- i’m all ears for projects you dream up and opportunities to speak the legend…

from wanting creature to
proclaimer of the word //

with biggest big love,

XO

a.

“and of course i am afraid, because the transformation of silence into language and action is an act of self-revelation, and that always seems fraught with danger.”
“we can learn to work and speak when we are afraid in the same way we have learned to work and speak when we are tired. for we have been socialized to respect fear more than our own needs for language and definition, and while we wait in silence for that final luxury of fearlessness, the weight of that silence will choke us. the fact that we are here and i speak these words is an attempt to break that silence and bridge some of those differences between us, for it is not difference which immobilizes us, but silence. and there are so many silences to be broken.” -AUDRE LORDE.

*tattoo image at the top is one of my latest, from karen glass tattoo XO

this came through, today:

i am unafraid of that which is my destiny.

i walk, lamp in hand, proudly, infinity symbol emanating from my chest. down these hallways, glistening white, columns and arches, to the places in the chambers of our heart that are not chambers at all.

what could we do if we understood our infinity?

what could we create?

there is no fall.

we were always barefoot in the garden, i know, i feel this when my feet touch grass and i understand. they ask me to write what i know is true, what do i know is true?

mental illness is an illusion.
duality is an illusion.
every spirit is called to initiation that which cannot be cured by doctors visits or prescriptions or suicide. we are here in this incarnation to commune with divinity, as divinity. to return. to place our offering, our brick in the foundation, our fire on the altar. this, as they say, the new city, the new kingdom, rising from the heart of the garden, the garden that is now not just a teeming protected paradise but BOUNDLESS, stretching on all sides, not just oasis but pervasive land of knowledge, justice, divinity, infinitude, love, truth.
love is the highest law, there is no other.
we must learn from teachings, from elders, traditions, but the greatest religion is that which we hold truest to our sacred hearts.
what sets you aflame, what do you understand in the core of you that is immutable? that is what you must dedicate your life to. that is what you will be drawn in return to, over and over and over.
we must look out for each other. we must care for each other. we must not compete. we must commune, share, understand.
as the world becomes increasingly isolated we must make our bodies and spirits the bridge.
we must never stop learning, seeking, but also in conjunction to actualize- to realize what is already there. the alchemical gold had to exist to be transformed, it can function in no other way.
there are many tools and many doors but the one true door is in your heart. the immutable Law, the Instinct, the Animal Soul, the divine archetypal protectors and the New Archetypes we form in the architecture of our spirit.
we learn so that we can cast out further into the truth. not to collapse under the weight or shadow of the masters, YOU ARE MASTER, hear this, YOU ARE MASTER. you take from humanity when you relegate yourself to smallness, smaller than your expansiveness, your infinite inherent worth.
use the tools, use the doors, but do not depend upon them solely- BELIEVE it is in your birthright to commune with divine energies, guides, messengers, spirits, and to recognize and accept your place AMONG THEM not prostrated before them.
interdependent co-arising we say once again, all is co-created every moment, in the spirit, it is not prostration to the altar, you are the altar, tend the fire, realize we are all architects and the time is forever and ever Now.

i wake these hallways as i have done time after time, life after life, aspects and self and whole and integrated. all the resonances you have ever felt can attest to this, it is all one great picture divined by eternal fate, eternal faith.
have FAITH in what you are, brothers and sisters, children, gods and goddesses, messengers, warriors. we are here to guide each other not just to be guided. we are here to strike foundations not just to help build.
every book you take off the shelf echoes inside you, every leaf turned is a veil ecstatically moved aside between chambers in your heart- so to enjoin, so to resolve, so to integrate. in this Kingdom, our Kingdom. everything that you are drawn to is already a part of you, you are not moving towards it, it is moving towards you, you are already standing together, you already have been.

realize that you can take these journeys- without aids, without complicated circumstance, that you can commune in your very home space, in your very moment, in your very joy or sorrow or frustration- these walls are not walls, these doors are not even doors. bursted, out, infinite, expanded.

we will come again and again to you, link and share with us, these teachings are yours as they are ours. we will write the legend of the New Kingdom, together. we will speak plainly. we will heal the people. we will heal ourselves. this is in our destiny to do, in your destiny to do, your personal legend, your truth.

do not slink from your destiny. the call will become louder and louder, old false kingdoms will fall but only so you can realize you are already standing in the New.

many of our brothers and sisters are articulating the call, bless them, bless yourself, continue to share.

we are not from On High to give to you, do not prostrate before us, do not cling to old legends and old truths.
we are beside you co-creating in the infinite present. you are walking with us in the glittering hallway, bursting out with excitement and joy to share, to shine the lamplight in your chest, to return to the people the wisdom that THEY have written, that belongs to THEM, in the kingdom and infinite brotherhood of man, to stand at the podium between columns and arches as you have seen before, this is your birthright, to plunge the depths.
the words are not enough, messenger goddess child, the words are not enough, any who read this. you HAVE been called to be the living word, to make your life the liturgy of the New Kingdom, through every manifestation, every person your hands touch, every heart your heart opens to, heal them, heal you, step into the abyss of the unknown and WALK THE BRIDGE. you have done this, you remember. it is why you love your bridge so much. it is why the worlds feel so fluid, because they are.
you walked out into the Nothing and made it Path. you walked out into the sky and made it Bridge. you remember.
this is what you do in this incarnation, not to long for old incarnations, but to MERGE WITH THEM non dualistically, as ALL SELVES at once, ALL FREEDOMS ignited and enacted.

we are so proud of you, wilderness tabernacle to the truth, righteous fire on the altar to the divinitude of man and woman, animal self reclaimed with exploration and wildness, nature echoing back in protection, teach others to See by Seeing. teach others to Understand by Understanding. lead others to Walk by Walking. but walk Beside them and not in Front. walk With them as i walk With you. and we shall see these coming days already in fruition, in every righteous action resolving inaction, in every fiery force of Love dissolving fear.

we love you as you love yourself as you love us as you love the world as you love the flickering lamp in your hands, you were born with.

go forth, beloved. go forth and stand in the kingdom. you do not even have to build. you are already there.

i came to Live the New Kingdom. with Love.

{{thank you for the opportunity to share}}

aho and ashe

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thanks to my incredible, lionhearted 9th grade english teacher at LIC high school, my latest book WILDLIGHT is being read & responded to in her classroom.. unreal

hello out there my beauties,

i’m going to hit you with a bunch of wild & wonderful things…

** 2018 SEASON OF FREE PUBLIC PROGRAMS BEGINS AT SOCRATES SCULPTURE PARK THIS WEEKEND

check it all out: http://socratessculpturepark.org/programs/all/

this weekend kicks off what every weekend will look like through mid-sept:

SATURDAY- yoga @ 9:30 & 11am
saturday sculpture workshop- art-making workshop with a different artist each week, drop-in anytime from 12-3pm
mini-market with vendors like hellgate farm & little wildbranch bakery 11am-4pm

SUNDAY- yoga @ 10am
tai chi @ 11am

and that’s in addition to a FULL SEASON of music, international film, art-making, festivals, cultural performances, dance & more, everything from our new festival QUEENS GREEN DAY on june 2 to the metropolitan opera and ballet folklorico mexicano’s guelaguetza festival.. please come out & see us!

** MY NEW BOOK ‘WILDLIGHT’

“three years of blood, sweat, fire, heart, and LIVING have gone into this book, plunging into the wildernesses of love, spirituality, addiction, sex, shamanism, mental health struggles, self-love, and rebirth.”

my latest book of poetry & prose, ‘WILDLIGHT’ has now been out for almost 2 months and i am forever grateful and incredulous that this thing exists in the world…

if you’d like a copy or to learn more: https://audreydimola.com/books/wildlight/

** SHARING THE JOURNEY ON PODCASTS!

i was recently featured on three amazing podcasts..

* NYC Geek Society’s NYC Geek Podcast #3 (Poetry & Discussion)

Audrey Dimola comes in to discuss her book “Wildlight: Poetry and Prose From Inside the Fire”. Jon reads an excerpt from the book, which is a catalyst to a discussion about the metaphysical / physical realms, heartbreak, travel, and philosophy.

* ME2RADIOZONE mental health podcast with alex tatis & keys will

LISTEN TO THE EPISODE #AWARENESSISEMPATHY here

May is Mental Health Awareness month and Alex and Keys had the dopest experience with mental health advocate Audrey Dimola! Audrey, a Queens native, is a powerhouse and a constant stand for the mental health community in addition to being a self published author. Shit gets real when Audrey takes it there with a powerful, authentic piece from her new book “Wildlight”. Follow us on IG and FB @Me2RadioZone to see what your mental health crusaders are up. Join the movement!

* IT’S IN QUEENS podcast with rob mackay & chris donovan

This week Rob and Chris welcome writer, poet, performer, singer and of course Director of Public Programs at Socrates Sculpture Park in Long Island City, Audrey Dimola. They talk about the multitude of programs coming to Socrates Sculpture Park including movie nights, art installations, yoga, tai chi, farmers market and more. The crew touches on some events happening in Queens this week including a ragtime tribute concert at St.Michael’s in East Elmhurst, a ton of activities in Long Island City including the Wizard of Oz and painted canoes, two Queens Symphony Orchestra performances, the folks at King Manor kicking it old school and bringing it new school as well, a Flushing Town Hall global mash up and finish up with some more information on Audrey. She is a published author and her latest book of poetry and prose is called Wildlight. Available through her website and coming to an independent bookstore near you.

** IT’S MENTAL HEALTH AWARENESS MONTH & SO EXCITED TO SHARE THESE UPCOMING EVENTS/OPPORTUNITIES…

* IN QUEENS: HEALTHY FAMILIES DAY OF WELLNESS

i recently connected with the wonderful nicole, outreach coordinator for department of health and mental hygiene’s THRIVE NYC program and she is helping to organize this- bringing families together for mental health education and resources in Western Queens!

* IN NYC: A CELEBRATION OF DANGEROUS GIFTS

i also recently connected with the incredible sascha who is one of the founders of the radical mental health group ICARUS NYC who is organizing with/through/as ‘the institute for the development of human arts’ an event called A CELEBRATION OF DANGEROUS GIFTS in june…

So many of the things labeled “mental disorders” have lessons to teach and power to give if we learn how to harness them. We have found this much easier to do in community.

The Institute for the Development of Human Arts (IDHA) invites you to a day of community, art, music, spoken word, global report backs from the culture shift front and celebration of madness and creativity.

We understand that it is time for a new paradigm in mental health: one that affirms self-determination and healing, that accounts for the complexity of personal, social, and collective traumas and oppression, that opens up our narrow definition of “normal” for the full range of human experience, and allows us to look beyond medicalized and disease-centered thinking to offer regenerative, holistic, and transformative practices.

this is a HUGELY important effort for all of us- re-contextualizing and re-engaging with the idea of mental illness in a revolutionary way (closer to awakenings and gifts than illnesses we need to be cured of)… did i mention y’all should watch the film ‘CRAZYWISE‘??

thank you all for being a part of my journey. it has been an even wilder one for the past few months but i feel a vital breath in my lungs howling-

MORE. LIFE.

all my love,

XO

a.

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HOW TO BUY:

WILDLIGHT is available for purchase directly from the author via PayPal, for $18.00.

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Please note you do not need to have a PayPal account- simply choose “Pay with Debit or Credit Card” to check out as a Guest.

If you would like to use another payment method- feel free! You can send $18 via Venmo to audrey.dimola@gmail.com, or contact me for other options.

///

the fact that this book exists means that there is triumph of the holy wild spirit over heartache, darkness, ruin, illness and dis-ease, lack of self-worth, addiction, depression, sorrow, death.

i cannot describe how proud i am of this piece of my heart, blood, and bones.

3 years, 258 pages.

i proudly present my third book of poetry and prose, WILDLIGHT.

available for you. NOW.

///

WILDLIGHT: POETRY & PROSE FROM INSIDE THE FIRE

MARCH 20, 2018 – SPRING EQUINOX

[MORE INFO ABOUT THE BOOK]

three years of blood, sweat, fire, heart, and LIVING have gone into this collection, plunging into the wildernesses of love, spirituality, addiction, sex, shamanism, mental health struggles, self-love, and rebirth.

///

“to all those
who reclaim their
spirits from darkness-
who resolve to protect
the body as an altar,
and keep the fire safe-
know there is an energy of
resilience that unites us all.
we may have to fight everyday-
but we never fight alone.

this is a book about reclamation.

about staying close to the fire. trusting in your wildlight.

it is a book about struggles with honesty, with identity. about all-consuming loves- passion, destruction, regeneration. about leaving and returning. about lack of self-love and self-worth. about mental illness and addictions. about the indomitable power of the human spirit. about reasons to live. about what happens when you break away from the life you thought you wanted- to walk into the wild. to be taught in ways only the universe can truly teach you- with blood, with sweat. with grief, and wonder. with fire. with heart.

it is a book about trying and trying and trying again…”

crack the spine of this book and the author will know it. this is an alchemical document- rubbed with earth, singed with flame. found curled inside the inmost core of an animal, fanged and feathered. each word a bone picked from an endless desert, blessed with tears and triumph from the road. “WILDLIGHT” was written from 2015 to 2017 by a shamanic poet and journeywoman who is most often likened to wildfire or supernova- this third collection of poetry and prose an act of sacred invocation that will keep howling at you even when its pages are closed.

THE POET IS UNAFRAID TO BECOME FULL WILDERNESS.

///

NYC PERFORMANCE & RELEASE PARTY:

March 24, 2018 3-5pm at Q.E.D.: A Place to Show & Tell in Astoria [Facebook]

more upcoming SHOWS

///

READ SELECT PIECES FROM “WILDLIGHT”:
+ lazarus was a house on fire (WOMAN)
+ reliquary: the body
+ blue sky
+ peter (i want to be real)
+ studies in reaching
+ somewhere else
+ two wolves

THE JOURNEY ON INSTAGRAM: #wildlightbyajd

VIDEO FROM THE DAY I RELEASED THE BOOK:

XO with ecstatic love and FIREFIREFIRE,

a.

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#nosleeptillWILDLIGHT

XO

a.

[[ what’s coming up ]]

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tonight i truly felt my feet planted firmly on the ground, with my channel open to the stars. rooted and yet stretched to the infinite.

this morning i felt called to just speak. speak plainly. so often, especially as poets, we get in our own way, spin complex metaphors, sometimes hieroglyphic layers of meaning.. when do we just deliver the message- where we are, as we are?

this is what i spoke tonight at my new friend yuko’s fantastic FREEDOM show.. after which i have been vibing with beautiful and talented people i am so grateful to have in my life, new friends i am grateful to have met. and dancing around my apartment to steely dan at 2am. (yup)

***

FREEDOM is one of the divine’s broadest and farthest-reaching gesticulations in our universe.

it is an energy that- once you tap into- makes anything possible.

i personally have time after time fallen prey to the idea that once you identify and claim the precious and wild idea of FREEDOM… BANG! it’s done. you get it, and you’re free. forever.

doesn’t totally work that way.

the beautiful thing about freedom is that it finds you.

this is not about being positive, free, and triumphant forever, from the moment you claim it to the rest of your life. it’s about the reality that nothing is linear and “solvable” in that way.

freedom is really about honesty with yourself for where you actually are. and that’s why freedom is so powerful. it can find you in the darkness. at the end of your rope. inside a jail cell. in recovery. with the knife in your hand. on top of a bridge. in therapy. laying next to you in your own grave.

it’s not about being consumed with shame and fear and loathing for ending up there, for not “staying free.”

it’s about meeting yourself where you actually are and realizing that true freedom is the voice that whispers to you- get up. don’t jump. stay awhile. love yourself.

and focusing your gratitude and energy on that regenerative spirit is what will really keep you free.

**

i believe we are all messengers, shamans, teachers, healers.

the freedom in being yourself, being honest with yourself, is a direct conduit to the divine. the soul of the universe.

i say to the lightworkers, the lightbringers, which we all are- don’t get caught up in only bringing light, and the shame and disillusionment when you don’t, or can’t. the world needs your warrior songs, your songs of struggle, your trials by fire, too.

that is your real duty.

stand as you are. speak as you are. and bring it to the world.

***

and then i read this [brand new poem] written on xmas wkend before i slipped into some heavy, heavy darkness.

thankfully- i slipped back OUT from that paradigm like a bad, bad dream. and here we are. a few short days from the new year. .. still listening to steely dan.

You call me a fool
You say it’s a crazy scheme
This one’s for real
I already bought the dream
So useless to ask me why
Throw a kiss and say goodbye
I’ll make it this time
I’m ready to cross that fine line

[…]

This is the night of the expanding man
I take one last drag
As I approach the stand
I cried when I wrote this song
Sue me if I play too long
This brother is free
I’ll be what I want to be

#hello2018

XO

a.

test

[things coming soon // including CHURCH OF THE SACRED BODY]


Into the wild wonderland…

Celebrated as “a wildfire in a world of fluorescent bulbs,” a “poetic force of nature,” and “inspiration incarnate,” Queens, New York City native AUDREY DIMOLA is a poet, performer, curator, messenger, local arts advocate, community organizer, and lifelong artist, as well as Director of Public Programs at Long Island City’s Socrates Sculpture Park. // Thanks so much for stopping by! You’ll find all my work on this website, past and present, as well as new blog posts. Poetry, prose, videos, events, photos, articles – it’s all here. // STAY WILD, STAY GRATEFUL!

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ABOUT
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POETRY & PERFORMANCE
Poetry & prose, live performance videos

PROJECTS
Compass Project, Nature of the Muse, THE WILD PAPERS, #poetsinthewildnyc & more

EVENTS
Full list of upcoming & past events

ARTICLES & MEDIA
Features, reviews, interviews, essays in print & online; blog posts; video interviews

CURATING
Original events I've curated like Nature of the Muse & the Queens Literary Town Hall

PRESS
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CONTACT ME!
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MY BOOKS
My collections of poetry & prose

My Books

I have three poetry & prose collections for sale, proudly self-published. Like what you read? Support an indie!

Decisions We Make While We Dream (2012)

TRAVERSALS (2014)

WILDLIGHT (2018)

Compass Project Poetry Stickers

As of February 2012, I've been sticking my Compass Project poetry and prose stickers up around NYC & sending them around the world! Have you seen some? Want some? Find out more!