audrey dimola[art for the wild]

Posts Tagged ‘poetry

31543380_10102037675334354_780853607355383808_o.jpg

PROVENANCE or THE WANTING CREATURE is, creatively, everything i’m scared of.

its seeds have been sown for years, specifically in two big moments- calling off my engagement in early summer 2015 and suddenly feeling called to express my 10+ years of pain non-verbally and through movement (i am a lifelong writer and poet, and well-known for such, so my expression has primarily been verbal/literary), and- seeing the film ‘bronx gothic’ at film forum in july 2017, and being lit on fire by the documentation of okwui okpokwasili’s creation of her exceptionally visceral one-woman show of the same name.

standing in socrates sculpture park, unexpectedly watching the trailer before our outdoor cinema screening, i was struck in every part of my body, seeing her for the first time. THAT is where i want to go with my performance- i knew. okwui sweating, vibrating, risking herself.

almost like- sitting in my ‘emerson & thoreau’ literature class in college and hearing/reading the words emerson wrote of montaigne, and feeling the kind of universal resonance that has never stopped reverberating through the years- ‘cut these words and they would bleed, they are vascular and alive.’ i knew, when i heard those- THAT is how i want to write.

three self-published books in, i know i have achieved that. now it is time to focus on the performance, but in actuality- MORE than a performance. grace, danger, ritual, fourth wall exploding experiment. music, dance, voice. stories.

to dare to become a living poem.

i grew up knowing i was a creatively fearless renaissance woman. i wrote, drew, created installation-like immersive worlds to play in, sang, acted, danced, taught. i made laser light shows, choreographed dances, wrote and produced plays, made and edited magazines, deejayed my own radio show, dreamed up casts of characters for several different imaginary tv shows.. it is only when we grow older that we collapse into a niche and feel afraid to move out of it because we are ‘unqualified’ or ‘untrained.’

after a childhood full of sharing and performing as an actress throughout high school, i did not return to performing my own work in public until the beginning of 2011. in 2012 i published my first book of poetry and prose, ‘decisions we make while we dream,’ in dedication to my nana who had passed a year earlier. it was a retrospective of my work from when i seriously started writing poetry- freshman year of high school- to the present. in 2013 i curated my first event, ‘nature of the muse’ reading and live writing by the fire at LIC bar, and the expansion and experimentation continued from there. different kinds of events, curated for myself and for other organizations like queens council on the arts and queens museum- growing into a knack for pushing boundaries, holding safe space, playing with the unexpected, with wildness, with childlike wonder. in 2014 i was on tv talking about my work (for the second time- first was in 2013), the featured poet in a multi-million viewer internet commercial, curating, hosting, and performing in my biggest show to date at laguardia performing arts center (which crushed me because it ran over an hour and a half late and i felt suddenly inept as a curator/event manager), and later that year published my second book ‘TRAVERSALS,’ made up of all new work from the time i published ‘decisions’ until the present. in 2015, i hosted my first interactive workshop, and my first site-specific original theatrical production (created with a group of beloved creatives for the latimer house museum)- then agonizingly called off my engagement and left my partner in brooklyn- and had no goddamn idea what was in store for me in the months and years ahead. i left my job, my life, my home- and the real journey began.

those days were the first days i realized that perhaps i was the common denominator- but couldn’t live outside of that story, yet. i had ‘everything i wanted’- a ring from a loving, beautiful partner with a wonderful family, the promise of a future, a lucrative job with freedom, a home, myriad creative opportunities- but was absolutely going insane with restlessness and uncertainty. i realized, after making it to the relationship ‘finish line’- that i had spent 10+ years in overlapping relationships with codependency, dishonesty, lack of personal boundaries, and no time to heal or grieve. ‘the wanting creature’ is a force that has directed me for the majority, if not all, of my adult life. and i had no idea what it meant to actually love myself, for myself, or be alone.

the further i have walked on this self love journey, the more it has intertwined with expansions of my artist self and spiritual self- all, i realized, are completely related- even more than i imagined. in leaving that relationship to question my path and my past, find myself, love myself, heal myself- there was an opening of ecstatic spiritual experiences through experiencing other cultures and earth-based spirituality, my deepest plunges into the darknesses of bipolarity and depression (with it- no job, no home space of my own, and barely any money), and the beginnings of what would become my 258-page third book, ‘WILDLIGHT,’ three years later. no matter how battered- i channeled it through art. poetic graffiti messages in the street, my first art installations, visceral performances, endless poems, photos, social media declarations- the greatest art comes out of necessity, i knew.

more and more, i opened my eyes to realize that my feet were already walking a shamanic path, the path of a messenger, bridgewalker, alchemist. words carry energy, curation and holding safe space is ceremony. and a want to help reconnect people with their child selves, wild selves, true selves, is walking worlds the way a shaman does- back to the eternal wisdom, back to the inherent truth.

coming to this point- ‘WILDLIGHT’ was released in spring 2018, my job as director of public programs doing large-scale events and programming at my beloved socrates sculpture park is almost the longest job i’ve ever held, and i am here.. feeling healthier than i have ever felt in my life. having wrestled with my past, my mental health, my lack of self love and self worth, my addictions to love and relationships..

how do you create meaningful, visceral, dangerous work from a place of necessity, while you are healthy? how do you re-inhabit those spaces without letting them pull you under- or perhaps, that’s what you must do? how do you break the fourth wall out of performance and into- something that is actually happening, in the moment, something that perhaps spectators can’t even explain, something they have an active part in too- more than performing poetry. ritual, religion, viscerality, wordlessness, longing. ugliness. sloppiness. perfect, radiant grace.

PROVENANCE is an effort to both describe in three dimensions what i have been through in this most recent part of my journey- and to challenge myself as an artist, performer, space-holder, alchemical poet, and human.

it has been following me around, since doing my longest solo performance to date at my ‘WILDLIGHT’ book launch and knowing i had to go further. experiencing myself in spirit, as spirit, knowing i have to share this.

PROVENANCE is an exploration of the viscerality of want. how it drives us, transforms us. ‘the wanting creature.’ and how, if we push far enough- this longing becomes ecstatic, transcendent, holy- a means for return to true self, a return to god.

it was born, in this way, during a solo trip to brooklyn museum in july 2018 (and a fail to see the bowie exhibit on its final day). reading this poem on the wall, in cecilia vicuña’s ‘disappeared quipu’ installation:

‘my art began by disappearing.
i made an offering for the sea to erase.
the waves weave our breath, in, out.
dissolving gives life to what comes next.’

later that month, july 26, the show began to shape- feeling it out in the dark and candlelights- remembering my process from aforementioned ‘THE WILD PAPERS’ show we created for latimer house- writing disparate ideas on index cards to see where they connect. i posted on instagram that night: “the physicality of want. force of the will. instant gratification. grasping. evolutionary transformation. // something being born- finding its legs, learning its name..”

i played with the title RAVISH/RAVAGE. but it has become more than just an exploration of love and sex, of want. it is this line from a piece of prose from the beginning of this year i included towards the end of ‘WILDLIGHT’:

“they say the longing becomes holy eventually if it doesn’t kill you first.”

this is dangerous work- soul work, self work. plumbing the depths, reclaiming the body, pushing edges for god. like rumi’s ecstatic poetry- his longing for the beloved is a longing for the divine, you almost never know which one he means- the physical and metaphysical, merge. it is what i hope to create with this performance, this happening- all of me, in existence.

what is the map to take me there?
i have absolutely no fucking idea.

but this is a step towards it. to the next evolution of myself as human, artist, performer, space-holder.

prov·e·nance
noun
the place of origin or earliest known history of something.
– the beginning of something’s existence; something’s origin.
– a record of ownership of a work of art or an antique, used as a guide to authenticity or quality.

[…]

#staytuned

29060849_10102002886596264_3198722151639382782_o.jpg

HOW TO BUY:

WILDLIGHT is available for purchase directly from the author via PayPal, for $18.00.

btn_buynowCC_LG.gif

Please note you do not need to have a PayPal account- simply choose “Pay with Debit or Credit Card” to check out as a Guest.

If you would like to use another payment method- feel free! You can send $18 via Venmo to audrey.dimola@gmail.com, or contact me for other options.

///

the fact that this book exists means that there is triumph of the holy wild spirit over heartache, darkness, ruin, illness and dis-ease, lack of self-worth, addiction, depression, sorrow, death.

i cannot describe how proud i am of this piece of my heart, blood, and bones.

3 years, 258 pages.

i proudly present my third book of poetry and prose, WILDLIGHT.

available for you. NOW.

///

WILDLIGHT: POETRY & PROSE FROM INSIDE THE FIRE

MARCH 20, 2018 – SPRING EQUINOX

[MORE INFO ABOUT THE BOOK]

three years of blood, sweat, fire, heart, and LIVING have gone into this collection, plunging into the wildernesses of love, spirituality, addiction, sex, shamanism, mental health struggles, self-love, and rebirth.

///

“to all those
who reclaim their
spirits from darkness-
who resolve to protect
the body as an altar,
and keep the fire safe-
know there is an energy of
resilience that unites us all.
we may have to fight everyday-
but we never fight alone.

this is a book about reclamation.

about staying close to the fire. trusting in your wildlight.

it is a book about struggles with honesty, with identity. about all-consuming loves- passion, destruction, regeneration. about leaving and returning. about lack of self-love and self-worth. about mental illness and addictions. about the indomitable power of the human spirit. about reasons to live. about what happens when you break away from the life you thought you wanted- to walk into the wild. to be taught in ways only the universe can truly teach you- with blood, with sweat. with grief, and wonder. with fire. with heart.

it is a book about trying and trying and trying again…”

crack the spine of this book and the author will know it. this is an alchemical document- rubbed with earth, singed with flame. found curled inside the inmost core of an animal, fanged and feathered. each word a bone picked from an endless desert, blessed with tears and triumph from the road. “WILDLIGHT” was written from 2015 to 2017 by a shamanic poet and journeywoman who is most often likened to wildfire or supernova- this third collection of poetry and prose an act of sacred invocation that will keep howling at you even when its pages are closed.

THE POET IS UNAFRAID TO BECOME FULL WILDERNESS.

///

NYC PERFORMANCE & RELEASE PARTY:

March 24, 2018 3-5pm at Q.E.D.: A Place to Show & Tell in Astoria [Facebook]

more upcoming SHOWS

///

READ SELECT PIECES FROM “WILDLIGHT”:
+ lazarus was a house on fire (WOMAN)
+ reliquary: the body
+ blue sky
+ peter (i want to be real)
+ studies in reaching
+ somewhere else
+ two wolves

THE JOURNEY ON INSTAGRAM: #wildlightbyajd

VIDEO FROM THE DAY I RELEASED THE BOOK:

XO with ecstatic love and FIREFIREFIRE,

a.

Screen Shot 2018-01-29 at 6.19.32 PM.pngScreen Shot 2018-01-29 at 6.20.09 PMScreen Shot 2018-01-29 at 6.20.21 PMScreen Shot 2018-01-29 at 6.20.29 PM

#nosleeptillWILDLIGHT

XO

a.

[[ what’s coming up ]]

26111911_10101928026062374_4490189617280702156_n

tonight i truly felt my feet planted firmly on the ground, with my channel open to the stars. rooted and yet stretched to the infinite.

this morning i felt called to just speak. speak plainly. so often, especially as poets, we get in our own way, spin complex metaphors, sometimes hieroglyphic layers of meaning.. when do we just deliver the message- where we are, as we are?

this is what i spoke tonight at my new friend yuko’s fantastic FREEDOM show.. after which i have been vibing with beautiful and talented people i am so grateful to have in my life, new friends i am grateful to have met. and dancing around my apartment to steely dan at 2am. (yup)

***

FREEDOM is one of the divine’s broadest and farthest-reaching gesticulations in our universe.

it is an energy that- once you tap into- makes anything possible.

i personally have time after time fallen prey to the idea that once you identify and claim the precious and wild idea of FREEDOM… BANG! it’s done. you get it, and you’re free. forever.

doesn’t totally work that way.

the beautiful thing about freedom is that it finds you.

this is not about being positive, free, and triumphant forever, from the moment you claim it to the rest of your life. it’s about the reality that nothing is linear and “solvable” in that way.

freedom is really about honesty with yourself for where you actually are. and that’s why freedom is so powerful. it can find you in the darkness. at the end of your rope. inside a jail cell. in recovery. with the knife in your hand. on top of a bridge. in therapy. laying next to you in your own grave.

it’s not about being consumed with shame and fear and loathing for ending up there, for not “staying free.”

it’s about meeting yourself where you actually are and realizing that true freedom is the voice that whispers to you- get up. don’t jump. stay awhile. love yourself.

and focusing your gratitude and energy on that regenerative spirit is what will really keep you free.

**

i believe we are all messengers, shamans, teachers, healers.

the freedom in being yourself, being honest with yourself, is a direct conduit to the divine. the soul of the universe.

i say to the lightworkers, the lightbringers, which we all are- don’t get caught up in only bringing light, and the shame and disillusionment when you don’t, or can’t. the world needs your warrior songs, your songs of struggle, your trials by fire, too.

that is your real duty.

stand as you are. speak as you are. and bring it to the world.

***

and then i read this [brand new poem] written on xmas wkend before i slipped into some heavy, heavy darkness.

thankfully- i slipped back OUT from that paradigm like a bad, bad dream. and here we are. a few short days from the new year. .. still listening to steely dan.

You call me a fool
You say it’s a crazy scheme
This one’s for real
I already bought the dream
So useless to ask me why
Throw a kiss and say goodbye
I’ll make it this time
I’m ready to cross that fine line

[…]

This is the night of the expanding man
I take one last drag
As I approach the stand
I cried when I wrote this song
Sue me if I play too long
This brother is free
I’ll be what I want to be

#hello2018

XO

a.

test

[things coming soon // including CHURCH OF THE SACRED BODY]

Screen Shot 2017-12-09 at 11.33.28 AM

touch my mouth with your hands
touch my mouth with your hands
oh i want to understand
the meaning of your embrace
i know now i have to face, the temptations of my past
please don’t let me disgrace
where my devotion lays
now that i know the truth, now that it’s no excuse
keeping me from your love, what was i thinking of?
holding me from your love, what was i thinking of?

thank you lauryn. you are brilliant.

///

my words. #fromtoday.

sister fire spoke to me
she said put the antler back around your neck
know that there is a purpose in all you do
you get lost to get found you get lost to get found, girl
to show you yourself over and over that you can.
that you can.
sitting here with flickering flames in cups
salt lamp emanating radiance my hands
to your mouth put your hands to my mouth
let me remember how to pray
let me honor my own radiance
let me remember how to pray
there is darkness darkness only dark
down well-worn paths in my cognitive loops
i say pull the axe from the thornbush righteous one
i say cut i say cut a new way
you were not meant to die in darkness, my love
you were not meant to die right here
i know you want to lay until the vines steal your breath
take you back to where you came from heal the heart
returned to earth but i say i say my child
you must believe that the righteousness of the warrior
is inside your very being
i say go on you don’t need your eyes your hands
you do not need your feet or legs
you need the whole body burning spirit
led by your heart
my girl i say pick up the axe my love
and cut that new way
cut that new new new way
do not be disillusioned, heartbroken from
finding your way back here
she sings he’s just like water
she’s just like water
you are her she is him
sanctified these candle flames
in cups this salt rock glow on my lips
bid me to speak my love
let me remember how to live
stuck in the vines my girl
curled in the vines my girl
you have to get up
you have to get up
not wait for the light
cut a hole to the light
not wait for the light
cut a hole to the light
come on.
come on and on and on
crumpling days of protection
solar plexus you forget your
intention to grab your
bunches of feathers
jump that cliff and
commit to soar
the vines are growing around you, girl
the vines are stealing your breath, girl
what will you do?
what will you do?
do not be disillusioned by ending up here again
the candle flames in cups the salt rock lamp
we always heal in spirals
it’s the only way to find our way back
we always heal in spirals
it’s the only way to find our way back
do not be angry at your constitution
at your weakness at your ache
another man almost stole the life of you
but the bone in your backbone is back
not stiff but fluid not braced for impact but
impactful, my love
the only thing you can collapse into
is gentleness
is gentleness
is love
touch my mouth with your hands
my mother father goddess
touch my mouth with your hands
let me speak these words i
fought my way here to say
i will not die buried in the vines
i will not die buried in the vines
i will cut my own way.
someone once said
there is a way to die a
spiritual death
there is a way to
remember your lips
pressed
to the holiness
of a creator that
loves you
that you can finally
feel
because you finally
love yourself back
take yourself back
my girl my heart
be gentle if it seems like
it’s perpetually
on the mend
give it some time
you always fighting fires
making fires
spreading fires
keep the warmth
remember that the
next fire your spirit wants to feel is
the sun on your skin
on the other side of this
tunnel of black dark
my love
we can only heal in spirals
it’s the only way we can
find our way back.
i can only heal in spirals
it’s the only way i was able to
find my way back.

///

Screen Shot 2017-12-09 at 11.33.06 AM

“see fantasy is what people want, but reality is what they need.. and i just retired from the fantasy part.”

///

“at that point, i had to do some dying.”

“artists do fall apart,” a record executive says. “the most commonly held falsity in the game is that they have it all together. they fall apart. […] they all have a moment where you go, ‘are they really all there?’ and i think lauryn chose to expose that to the world.”

bless up, queen.

bless up, brothers & sisters.

XO

a.

[[shows + events // what’s coming up]]

Screen Shot 2017-11-14 at 8.12.31 PM.png

i speak for the addicted
i speak for the mentally ill
i speak for those who need the woods to survive
i speak for the little girl who forgets she is a wildwoman
i speak for the lost boys and lost girls
i speak for those writing poems into a voice recorder while they ride their bike
i speak for those who won’t smile because they feel guilty
i speak for those who take responsibility for everything
i speak for the savage heart and the sacred life, the sacred breath
i speak for the roots who are constantly doing their work even though you can’t see them
i speak for the trees who are constantly purifying even if you don’t thank them
i speak for the fire on my altar who had to burn things to show them to me
i speak for the birds
i speak for nature who just states facts
i speak for all those who ride their bikes without holding onto the handlebars because it makes them remember there was a time when they knew how to be free
i speak for remembering to be free
i speak for the initiation, for the woman who was initiated, for the initiated woman
i speak for all those who are ashamed of what they’ve been through
i speak for all those who are afraid to be crazy
i speak for all those who take responsibility for themselves, who remember it is we and only we who can write our own legend
i speak for the cracking open and the sewing up with golden thread, healed
i speak for the alchemists
i speak for the wild ones
i speak for the fools
i speak for the messengers
i am the messenger
i speak for the cards in the tarot deck
i speak for the constellations
i speak for free will
i speak for the sins of the father and of the mother and how those sins are not ours
i speak for trying to take care of everyone else and never taking care of yourself
i speak for long bike rides in the cold because you know it will bring you closer to the tribe
i speak for the tribe
i speak of the tribe
i speak with the tribe
i stand by the tribe
i speak for going slower instead of faster

i speak for writing a poem on your bike and almost crashing into construction
i speak for reconstruction
i speak for reconfiguration
i speak for readjusting- to go forth, healed
i speak for the stolen generation
i speak for our shared history
i speak for the mother goddess
i speak for the divine feminine with the divine feminine as the divine feminine
i speak for finding a way back home
i speak for light, for legacy, for justice for myself
i speak for feathers on the ground
i speak for shamanism
i speak for poets
i speak for healing
i speak for trauma
i speak for forgiveness
i speak for recognition
i speak for sight
i speak for self worth- not because, or when, or if
i speak not of conditions
i speak of pain
i speak of grieving
i speak for grieving
i speak for duration
i speak for patience
i speak for balancing your elements, child
not just fire, not just wind- but earth. but water
i speak for power, strategy, and protection- of identifying your body through your body, your own body, your self
i speak for the metaphysical orgasm
i speak for the body but only because i listened when she talks i listen when she talks i listen when she talks and i hear her- now
i speak for my beautiful brain and its shadows- and its light
i speak for the altar in my heart- sacred blood that keeps it pumping
i speak for the scars
i speak for my river and my mountain and my rebirth and my reclamation
i speak for my goddess, my scientist, my wise woman, my self
i speak for all the children who think they don’t have a voice
i speak for all the children forced to keep their family’s secrets
i speak for all the adults forced to keep their family’s secrets
i speak for all the adults forced to keep their own secrets, in shame
i speak for the anesthetization of the body
i speak for the shaking
i speak for the wakening up
i speak for the howling out windows
i speak for the graffiti on the roof
i speak for the flapping of wings
i speak for the falling on your knees, praying into the earth
i speak for the cycle of life/death/life
i speak for the codependent
i speak for those that just want to be happy
i speak for those that just want to be loved
i speak for all those who think they’re not good enough for any of it
i speak for the man perched on the triboro bridge that night
i speak for my self, wailing in the night when you went missing
i speak for the sadness, for the depressed, the anxious, the manic, the bipolar, the suicidal urge- and the will that keeps us here
i speak for the hunger in my body, the restlessness in my soul that reminds me constantly there is a deeper nourishment that i must tap into- a nourishment beyond accolades, sustenance, sex, adoration
it is wild and it is free and it is whole and it comes out of me when i sing, when i let my rattle move, when i give my body to dancing, when i give my body-
safety
beauty
tribe
protection
Love with a capital L
i speak as the fierce prayer that is my life
i speak as the warrior
i speak as the gentleness
i speak as the transfiguration
i speak as the roots and the bearing fruit
i speak for the dead and for the living, and the dead who are alive, and the alive who are dead
i speak for the words on walls
i speak for the crown in the heart
i speak for the silence
i speak for the blue sky
i speak for the infinite abundance
i speak with the breath that creates the living word
i speak now and for every other day i am granted to be here
i speak for the plants that crack through the sidewalk
i speak the medicine
i am the medicine
i am the heart on fire flying eagle spirit
i am the fact that even as this prayer poem ends, it will reverberate-
create your echoes- brothers, sisters
create your echoes everywhere you walk-
find harmony
wildness
and acceptance
and bravery
and goodness
and truth
AHO.
– transcribed exactly as recorded into my phone while riding my bike, astoria to bed stuy, 11.12.17

Screen Shot 2017-11-14 at 8.13.11 PM.png

‘i liked what you said about rewriting your legacy.’
‘you got to. because if you don’t, someone else will.’

XO

a.

20861930_10101795551058344_6136100864285537486_o (2).jpg

how do we resolve dualities in our lives? by truth-bringing. staying close to our fires. striving to be cognizant when a visceral fear response drives us to carry out our same destructive impulses. paying attention to pendulum swings. what manifests in the body, body as compass. these truths began in me two years ago, now just starting to fully take shape. we know** how to heal ourselves. we just have to trust** that we do. currently- i am riding the line between instinct and archetype, vibrating at the still point where the medicine is- the real** medicine, and not the quick relief.

i wrote this some weeks ago- funny how, when you are so focused on healing in one part of your life (in this case for me, destructive habits in love and relationships)- you have absolutely no idea** how much you are neglecting the others (in this case for me, the connection between my soul and physical body). trying times, my friends! but there is always hope..

listening to the jungian ‘only the wounded healer heals‘ lecture, mixed in with some ‘women who run with the wolves’ (always) and a new favorite in the fantastic ‘care of the soul’- coupled with intensities of pain and discomfort- is reconstructing my presence to be patient. patient with this psychic sickness, this chronic illness- how the disease can cure. how the wounded healer can heal.

it is alarming how fast you slip into familiar modes of thought. the analogue to this is my crash at the end of 2011-2012, but also my senior year of college. i was looking outwardly instead of inward. no recognition of psyche/soma, just- my body is going rogue and rebelling against me. this marked disconnect- i am trapped in here, can’t control what “it’s” doing, spirit afraid for its life- is the root of all poisons. and where we go in places of fear, for comfort- hiding in the arms of partners, the authorities of chemical medicine.. it’s why i was dismantled- i wasn’t listening. i didn’t remember- i am a healer. and i must listen when the body speaks.

Screen Shot 2017-09-16 at 6.49.22 PM.png

there are layers in everything. psyche and soma are linked. but lately it has been- insurance, referrals, doctors, results, appointments, schedule conflicts, trapped, trapped, trapped. a near immovable ball of anguish and tension lodged in my gut. what about just slowing? what about just moving? returning to self, encouraging the energy to get unstuck. my absorptive nature brings me empathy but also danger. i am equipped to ‘take it.’ it is in my constitution, my mother’s and nana’s too. but i must remember i have tools.

the body has its own subtle and not so subtle clues, or alarms. will we slow, and listen? or run towards panic and relief- often, in our fear, to what makes it worse?

through loving myself i must learn to listen too. i am not just a passenger in this vessel. if i am the firekeeper and the body is the living altar, then my devotion must not be only to my spirit. this incredible organism, this universe we are gifted with- we subject to abuse and destruction, and then instantly become angry when “it’s not working,” when we get sick, feel tired, suddenly stricken with symptoms or ailments. it is as my brilliant friend and teacher paul once wrote- anything you think is distracting you from your work, is your work. similarly- anything you think is distracting you from your life, is your life.

when you leave yourself so debilitated, even a break becomes a violent crash rather than a mindful release. life/death/life.

we always have a choice.

i am working through my body this time- the psychic ailments collected through these past years. what can my psyche/soma do with all of that while i keep filling it up with toxins, emotional and otherwise? it has no place to go. it explodes.

“rather than blame, we could respond”
“listen to these symptoms and adjust life accordingly”

“if the pain could speak, what might it say?”

i speak my pain in poetry, readily- but that is not a whole remedy. it must be listened to and moved out of the body.

“all these noble, richly poetic organs, teeming with meaning and power, have been made into functions”

what can be accomplished with- running from supposed cure to supposed cure, not questioning anything, just- how do i get this to start working again so i can continue with what i was doing?

this is a bigger issue than just the various illness. it’s wringing myself out of the toxins that are incongruent with the person i am at my core, with the life i want to lead.

“the ancient greeks taught that the god who heals is the same god who brought the disease in the first place”

know thyself.

“if we allow sickness to lead us into wonder about the very base of experience, then our spirituality is strengthened. accepting that we are wounded, we enter life differently than if our only concern is to overcome the wound.”

whatever this ailment, psychic or somatic- i will overcome it. because i vow to learn the things i have not learned before. yoga, movement, free(er) expression, song, drumming, releasing, honesty, good food, and habits that will serve me. it is not about what is “right” or “what i should do,” but instead what serves me.

21753026_10101830736137164_6762512394587231981_o.jpg

and what serves you is this, wild one.

i know who i am
now
daughter of one from
time before time
i sit at the right
hand of
the wilderness
ready to
shatter the
timepiece
ready to invest in
my becoming
there is no
ghost now, no
dream and no
fire but
my own
how do you walk
from child of
wolf to wolf
woman?
with eyes open
heart split wide
bearing boughs
of truth.

Screen Shot 2017-09-16 at 6.46.07 PM.png

i picked up four stones from the riverbed and arranged them in compass formation. i placed my hand over each, reciting the last prayer i could remember.
whenever you are most scared, go north.
when the darkness seems it will never end, go north.
when you are no longer afraid to die, go north.
when they tell you not to go. go north.
-from ‘two wolves

coming up & some more updates:

NTL Logo JPEG

9/19 NeverTheLess: A Night Of… DUALISM
8-10pm El Barrio Art Space, 215 E. 99th St NYC – $10
a tribe of badass women share poetry, art, music on the topic of DUALISM! i was truly affected by their debut NeverTheLess earlier this year and can’t wait to see how this one turns out <3
[Facebook]

image1

9/28 ART + POETRY SALON curated by Effie Pasagiannis
7-10pm Arlo NoMad, 11 E 31st St NYC – $10
if you know me you know how much i love creative collaboration, and this is one such night in which poets share the original work they’ve written from visual art!
[Facebook]

in other news…

the summer was absolutely consumed in making magic with the incredible communities and cultures at socrates sculpture park- if you’re so inclined, here’s a [photo album] of what i’ve been doing at the park in my first year as public programs director :)

speaking of- two more chances to experience big festivals at socrates before the season is done next month:

QUEENS FOOD DAY
10/14 11am-3pm FREE
a festival of exploring, sharing, conversations, and activities surrounding food justice, nutrition education, urban farming, planting and gardening, sustainability, and healthy living with tons of local community partners!
[Facebook] / [Socrates website]

HALLOWEEN HARVEST
10/28 11am-3pm FREE
this year it’s dia de los muertos/day of the dead themed with a performance/procession by ballet folklorico mexicano, art and costume making, a communal ancestral altar, and our annual tradition of doggie costume contest!
[Facebook] / [Socrates website]

ps- my third book of poetry and prose, WILDLIGHT will be coming in 2018. not exactly as planned but.. i trust. <3

as we head into the introspective fall and winter months, i am writing with a sincere wish that you are looking after yourselves (the way i obviously haven’t been lately). looking forward to these seasons of turning inward for cultivation, HEALING, shamanic journeying and exploratory movement- and giving thanks for another year of life (i turned 31 last month!) to explore, share, create what i wish to experience..

grateful for you all, and wishing you brave passage on this seasonal transition-

here,
where frantic ego
swinging lamp
stops short
at the edge-
it is only truth
who can jump
the cliff
and
live

XO

a.


Into the wild wonderland…

Celebrated as “a wildfire in a world of fluorescent bulbs,” a “poetic force of nature,” and “inspiration incarnate,” Queens, New York City native AUDREY DIMOLA is a poet, performer, curator, messenger, local arts advocate, community organizer, and lifelong artist, as well as Director of Public Programs at Long Island City’s Socrates Sculpture Park. // Thanks so much for stopping by! You’ll find all my work on this website, past and present, as well as new blog posts. Poetry, prose, videos, events, photos, articles – it’s all here. // STAY WILD, STAY GRATEFUL!

Navigation

ABOUT
Pleased to meet you..!

POETRY & PERFORMANCE
Poetry & prose, live performance videos

PROJECTS
Compass Project, Nature of the Muse, THE WILD PAPERS, #poetsinthewildnyc & more

EVENTS
Full list of upcoming & past events

ARTICLES & MEDIA
Features, reviews, interviews, essays in print & online; blog posts; video interviews

CURATING
Original events I've curated like Nature of the Muse & the Queens Literary Town Hall

PRESS
Coverage of my work - print, blogs, TV!

CONTACT ME!
Info, mailing list, testimonials, specialties

MY BOOKS
My collections of poetry & prose

My Books

I have three poetry & prose collections for sale, proudly self-published. Like what you read? Support an indie!

Decisions We Make While We Dream (2012)

TRAVERSALS (2014)

WILDLIGHT (2018)

Compass Project Poetry Stickers

As of February 2012, I've been sticking my Compass Project poetry and prose stickers up around NYC & sending them around the world! Have you seen some? Want some? Find out more!