audrey dimola[art for the wild]

Posts Tagged ‘spoken word

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touch my mouth with your hands
touch my mouth with your hands
oh i want to understand
the meaning of your embrace
i know now i have to face, the temptations of my past
please don’t let me disgrace
where my devotion lays
now that i know the truth, now that it’s no excuse
keeping me from your love, what was i thinking of?
holding me from your love, what was i thinking of?

thank you lauryn. you are brilliant.

///

my words. #fromtoday.

sister fire spoke to me
she said put the antler back around your neck
know that there is a purpose in all you do
you get lost to get found you get lost to get found, girl
to show you yourself over and over that you can.
that you can.
sitting here with flickering flames in cups
salt lamp emanating radiance my hands
to your mouth put your hands to my mouth
let me remember how to pray
let me honor my own radiance
let me remember how to pray
there is darkness darkness only dark
down well-worn paths in my cognitive loops
i say pull the axe from the thornbush righteous one
i say cut i say cut a new way
you were not meant to die in darkness, my love
you were not meant to die right here
i know you want to lay until the vines steal your breath
take you back to where you came from heal the heart
returned to earth but i say i say my child
you must believe that the righteousness of the warrior
is inside your very being
i say go on you don’t need your eyes your hands
you do not need your feet or legs
you need the whole body burning spirit
led by your heart
my girl i say pick up the axe my love
and cut that new way
cut that new new new way
do not be disillusioned, heartbroken from
finding your way back here
she sings he’s just like water
she’s just like water
you are her she is him
sanctified these candle flames
in cups this salt rock glow on my lips
bid me to speak my love
let me remember how to live
stuck in the vines my girl
curled in the vines my girl
you have to get up
you have to get up
not wait for the light
cut a hole to the light
not wait for the light
cut a hole to the light
come on.
come on and on and on
crumpling days of protection
solar plexus you forget your
intention to grab your
bunches of feathers
jump that cliff and
commit to soar
the vines are growing around you, girl
the vines are stealing your breath, girl
what will you do?
what will you do?
do not be disillusioned by ending up here again
the candle flames in cups the salt rock lamp
we always heal in spirals
it’s the only way to find our way back
we always heal in spirals
it’s the only way to find our way back
do not be angry at your constitution
at your weakness at your ache
another man almost stole the life of you
but the bone in your backbone is back
not stiff but fluid not braced for impact but
impactful, my love
the only thing you can collapse into
is gentleness
is gentleness
is love
touch my mouth with your hands
my mother father goddess
touch my mouth with your hands
let me speak these words i
fought my way here to say
i will not die buried in the vines
i will not die buried in the vines
i will cut my own way.
someone once said
there is a way to die a
spiritual death
there is a way to
remember your lips
pressed
to the holiness
of a creator that
loves you
that you can finally
feel
because you finally
love yourself back
take yourself back
my girl my heart
be gentle if it seems like
it’s perpetually
on the mend
give it some time
you always fighting fires
making fires
spreading fires
keep the warmth
remember that the
next fire your spirit wants to feel is
the sun on your skin
on the other side of this
tunnel of black dark
my love
we can only heal in spirals
it’s the only way we can
find our way back.
i can only heal in spirals
it’s the only way i was able to
find my way back.

///

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“see fantasy is what people want, but reality is what they need.. and i just retired from the fantasy part.”

///

“at that point, i had to do some dying.”

“artists do fall apart,” a record executive says. “the most commonly held falsity in the game is that they have it all together. they fall apart. […] they all have a moment where you go, ‘are they really all there?’ and i think lauryn chose to expose that to the world.”

bless up, queen.

bless up, brothers & sisters.

XO

a.

[[shows + events // what’s coming up]]

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i speak for the addicted
i speak for the mentally ill
i speak for those who need the woods to survive
i speak for the little girl who forgets she is a wildwoman
i speak for the lost boys and lost girls
i speak for those writing poems into a voice recorder while they ride their bike
i speak for those who won’t smile because they feel guilty
i speak for those who take responsibility for everything
i speak for the savage heart and the sacred life, the sacred breath
i speak for the roots who are constantly doing their work even though you can’t see them
i speak for the trees who are constantly purifying even if you don’t thank them
i speak for the fire on my altar who had to burn things to show them to me
i speak for the birds
i speak for nature who just states facts
i speak for all those who ride their bikes without holding onto the handlebars because it makes them remember there was a time when they knew how to be free
i speak for remembering to be free
i speak for the initiation, for the woman who was initiated, for the initiated woman
i speak for all those who are ashamed of what they’ve been through
i speak for all those who are afraid to be crazy
i speak for all those who take responsibility for themselves, who remember it is we and only we who can write our own legend
i speak for the cracking open and the sewing up with golden thread, healed
i speak for the alchemists
i speak for the wild ones
i speak for the fools
i speak for the messengers
i am the messenger
i speak for the cards in the tarot deck
i speak for the constellations
i speak for free will
i speak for the sins of the father and of the mother and how those sins are not ours
i speak for trying to take care of everyone else and never taking care of yourself
i speak for long bike rides in the cold because you know it will bring you closer to the tribe
i speak for the tribe
i speak of the tribe
i speak with the tribe
i stand by the tribe
i speak for going slower instead of faster

i speak for writing a poem on your bike and almost crashing into construction
i speak for reconstruction
i speak for reconfiguration
i speak for readjusting- to go forth, healed
i speak for the stolen generation
i speak for our shared history
i speak for the mother goddess
i speak for the divine feminine with the divine feminine as the divine feminine
i speak for finding a way back home
i speak for light, for legacy, for justice for myself
i speak for feathers on the ground
i speak for shamanism
i speak for poets
i speak for healing
i speak for trauma
i speak for forgiveness
i speak for recognition
i speak for sight
i speak for self worth- not because, or when, or if
i speak not of conditions
i speak of pain
i speak of grieving
i speak for grieving
i speak for duration
i speak for patience
i speak for balancing your elements, child
not just fire, not just wind- but earth. but water
i speak for power, strategy, and protection- of identifying your body through your body, your own body, your self
i speak for the metaphysical orgasm
i speak for the body but only because i listened when she talks i listen when she talks i listen when she talks and i hear her- now
i speak for my beautiful brain and its shadows- and its light
i speak for the altar in my heart- sacred blood that keeps it pumping
i speak for the scars
i speak for my river and my mountain and my rebirth and my reclamation
i speak for my goddess, my scientist, my wise woman, my self
i speak for all the children who think they don’t have a voice
i speak for all the children forced to keep their family’s secrets
i speak for all the adults forced to keep their family’s secrets
i speak for all the adults forced to keep their own secrets, in shame
i speak for the anesthetization of the body
i speak for the shaking
i speak for the wakening up
i speak for the howling out windows
i speak for the graffiti on the roof
i speak for the flapping of wings
i speak for the falling on your knees, praying into the earth
i speak for the cycle of life/death/life
i speak for the codependent
i speak for those that just want to be happy
i speak for those that just want to be loved
i speak for all those who think they’re not good enough for any of it
i speak for the man perched on the triboro bridge that night
i speak for my self, wailing in the night when you went missing
i speak for the sadness, for the depressed, the anxious, the manic, the bipolar, the suicidal urge- and the will that keeps us here
i speak for the hunger in my body, the restlessness in my soul that reminds me constantly there is a deeper nourishment that i must tap into- a nourishment beyond accolades, sustenance, sex, adoration
it is wild and it is free and it is whole and it comes out of me when i sing, when i let my rattle move, when i give my body to dancing, when i give my body-
safety
beauty
tribe
protection
Love with a capital L
i speak as the fierce prayer that is my life
i speak as the warrior
i speak as the gentleness
i speak as the transfiguration
i speak as the roots and the bearing fruit
i speak for the dead and for the living, and the dead who are alive, and the alive who are dead
i speak for the words on walls
i speak for the crown in the heart
i speak for the silence
i speak for the blue sky
i speak for the infinite abundance
i speak with the breath that creates the living word
i speak now and for every other day i am granted to be here
i speak for the plants that crack through the sidewalk
i speak the medicine
i am the medicine
i am the heart on fire flying eagle spirit
i am the fact that even as this prayer poem ends, it will reverberate-
create your echoes- brothers, sisters
create your echoes everywhere you walk-
find harmony
wildness
and acceptance
and bravery
and goodness
and truth
AHO.
– transcribed exactly as recorded into my phone while riding my bike, astoria to bed stuy, 11.12.17

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‘i liked what you said about rewriting your legacy.’
‘you got to. because if you don’t, someone else will.’

XO

a.

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how do we resolve dualities in our lives? by truth-bringing. staying close to our fires. striving to be cognizant when a visceral fear response drives us to carry out our same destructive impulses. paying attention to pendulum swings. what manifests in the body, body as compass. these truths began in me two years ago, now just starting to fully take shape. we know** how to heal ourselves. we just have to trust** that we do. currently- i am riding the line between instinct and archetype, vibrating at the still point where the medicine is- the real** medicine, and not the quick relief.

i wrote this some weeks ago- funny how, when you are so focused on healing in one part of your life (in this case for me, destructive habits in love and relationships)- you have absolutely no idea** how much you are neglecting the others (in this case for me, the connection between my soul and physical body). trying times, my friends! but there is always hope..

listening to the jungian ‘only the wounded healer heals‘ lecture, mixed in with some ‘women who run with the wolves’ (always) and a new favorite in the fantastic ‘care of the soul’- coupled with intensities of pain and discomfort- is reconstructing my presence to be patient. patient with this psychic sickness, this chronic illness- how the disease can cure. how the wounded healer can heal.

it is alarming how fast you slip into familiar modes of thought. the analogue to this is my crash at the end of 2011-2012, but also my senior year of college. i was looking outwardly instead of inward. no recognition of psyche/soma, just- my body is going rogue and rebelling against me. this marked disconnect- i am trapped in here, can’t control what “it’s” doing, spirit afraid for its life- is the root of all poisons. and where we go in places of fear, for comfort- hiding in the arms of partners, the authorities of chemical medicine.. it’s why i was dismantled- i wasn’t listening. i didn’t remember- i am a healer. and i must listen when the body speaks.

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there are layers in everything. psyche and soma are linked. but lately it has been- insurance, referrals, doctors, results, appointments, schedule conflicts, trapped, trapped, trapped. a near immovable ball of anguish and tension lodged in my gut. what about just slowing? what about just moving? returning to self, encouraging the energy to get unstuck. my absorptive nature brings me empathy but also danger. i am equipped to ‘take it.’ it is in my constitution, my mother’s and nana’s too. but i must remember i have tools.

the body has its own subtle and not so subtle clues, or alarms. will we slow, and listen? or run towards panic and relief- often, in our fear, to what makes it worse?

through loving myself i must learn to listen too. i am not just a passenger in this vessel. if i am the firekeeper and the body is the living altar, then my devotion must not be only to my spirit. this incredible organism, this universe we are gifted with- we subject to abuse and destruction, and then instantly become angry when “it’s not working,” when we get sick, feel tired, suddenly stricken with symptoms or ailments. it is as my brilliant friend and teacher paul once wrote- anything you think is distracting you from your work, is your work. similarly- anything you think is distracting you from your life, is your life.

when you leave yourself so debilitated, even a break becomes a violent crash rather than a mindful release. life/death/life.

we always have a choice.

i am working through my body this time- the psychic ailments collected through these past years. what can my psyche/soma do with all of that while i keep filling it up with toxins, emotional and otherwise? it has no place to go. it explodes.

“rather than blame, we could respond”
“listen to these symptoms and adjust life accordingly”

“if the pain could speak, what might it say?”

i speak my pain in poetry, readily- but that is not a whole remedy. it must be listened to and moved out of the body.

“all these noble, richly poetic organs, teeming with meaning and power, have been made into functions”

what can be accomplished with- running from supposed cure to supposed cure, not questioning anything, just- how do i get this to start working again so i can continue with what i was doing?

this is a bigger issue than just the various illness. it’s wringing myself out of the toxins that are incongruent with the person i am at my core, with the life i want to lead.

“the ancient greeks taught that the god who heals is the same god who brought the disease in the first place”

know thyself.

“if we allow sickness to lead us into wonder about the very base of experience, then our spirituality is strengthened. accepting that we are wounded, we enter life differently than if our only concern is to overcome the wound.”

whatever this ailment, psychic or somatic- i will overcome it. because i vow to learn the things i have not learned before. yoga, movement, free(er) expression, song, drumming, releasing, honesty, good food, and habits that will serve me. it is not about what is “right” or “what i should do,” but instead what serves me.

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and what serves you is this, wild one.

i know who i am
now
daughter of one from
time before time
i sit at the right
hand of
the wilderness
ready to
shatter the
timepiece
ready to invest in
my becoming
there is no
ghost now, no
dream and no
fire but
my own
how do you walk
from child of
wolf to wolf
woman?
with eyes open
heart split wide
bearing boughs
of truth.

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i picked up four stones from the riverbed and arranged them in compass formation. i placed my hand over each, reciting the last prayer i could remember.
whenever you are most scared, go north.
when the darkness seems it will never end, go north.
when you are no longer afraid to die, go north.
when they tell you not to go. go north.
-from ‘two wolves

coming up & some more updates:

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9/19 NeverTheLess: A Night Of… DUALISM
8-10pm El Barrio Art Space, 215 E. 99th St NYC – $10
a tribe of badass women share poetry, art, music on the topic of DUALISM! i was truly affected by their debut NeverTheLess earlier this year and can’t wait to see how this one turns out <3
[Facebook]

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9/28 ART + POETRY SALON curated by Effie Pasagiannis
7-10pm Arlo NoMad, 11 E 31st St NYC – $10
if you know me you know how much i love creative collaboration, and this is one such night in which poets share the original work they’ve written from visual art!
[Facebook]

in other news…

the summer was absolutely consumed in making magic with the incredible communities and cultures at socrates sculpture park- if you’re so inclined, here’s a [photo album] of what i’ve been doing at the park in my first year as public programs director :)

speaking of- two more chances to experience big festivals at socrates before the season is done next month:

QUEENS FOOD DAY
10/14 11am-3pm FREE
a festival of exploring, sharing, conversations, and activities surrounding food justice, nutrition education, urban farming, planting and gardening, sustainability, and healthy living with tons of local community partners!
[Facebook] / [Socrates website]

HALLOWEEN HARVEST
10/28 11am-3pm FREE
this year it’s dia de los muertos/day of the dead themed with a performance/procession by ballet folklorico mexicano, art and costume making, a communal ancestral altar, and our annual tradition of doggie costume contest!
[Facebook] / [Socrates website]

ps- my third book of poetry and prose, WILDLIGHT will be coming in 2018. not exactly as planned but.. i trust. <3

as we head into the introspective fall and winter months, i am writing with a sincere wish that you are looking after yourselves (the way i obviously haven’t been lately). looking forward to these seasons of turning inward for cultivation, HEALING, shamanic journeying and exploratory movement- and giving thanks for another year of life (i turned 31 last month!) to explore, share, create what i wish to experience..

grateful for you all, and wishing you brave passage on this seasonal transition-

here,
where frantic ego
swinging lamp
stops short
at the edge-
it is only truth
who can jump
the cliff
and
live

XO

a.

i am so excited to say that the #UseYourAnd campaign has officially LAUNCHED!

useyourand

the Gillette Venus #UseYourAnd global campaign launched yesterday to celebrate the BEAUTY of being OUTSIDE THE BOX. it’s centered around this video, which i am so lucky to be featured in:

Show “or” the door-this is the story of “&”. The story of realizing your true potential. Put an end to the one-dimensional labels that limit your potential. Because you are beautiful AND smart. You can be an astronaut AND a soccer player AND a ballerina. Your life is composed of many ANDs – an empowering sum of all of the things you are, and all you want to be. Venus invites you and women everywhere to take a stand against one-dimensional labels. #UseYourAnd.

there are no words to say how grateful i am to be part of a campaign that hones in on something i believe in SO strongly: being bold and multi-faceted in the face of labels – overcoming all those gatekeepers that are CONSTANTLY trying to hold us back or pin us down. it’s all about making people FEEL something.. and reading the comments from friends and strangers alike is truly heart-stirring. this is what it’s about – reminding each other why we’re here and who we truly are. that there is no box, no cage, no boundary that can contain us. we are limitless. wild AND smart AND bold AND… :)

THANK YOU so much to the entire cast, crew, and production team. i will NEVER forget this experience.

here’s also a fantastic look at the story behind the campaign:

(video no longer available)

You are too beautifully complex for a simple label. Venus is on a mission to put an end to one-dimensional labels that limit your potential. Because you can rock an outfit & the stage. Win the race & the crown. Climb mountains & corporate ladders. You are beauty & brains. Grace & guts. Time to show “or” the door and believe in the power of &.Venus invites women everywhere to take a stand against one-dimensional labels and #UseYourAnd.

i LOVE how i am listed as “poet & optimist”!! and i LOVE how Gillette took steps to find REAL girls with REAL stories.. my soul-sisters in these videos are incredible, and there is nothing more rewarding than to be cast for who you really are. i feel so blessed to be doing one of the things i love most in the world, performing poetry/spoken word, for this campaign.

please share, tweet, like, and of course HASHTAG #UseYourAnd on all forms of social media to share YOUR journey and your limitless qualities, and to help bring this story to other friends and loved ones. it’s our positive revolution, one soul at a time, all across the globe…

so incredible.

see more from Gillette Venus on Facebook, Twitter & YouTube!

infinitely,

XO

a.

* by the way, just in case anyone lands here from elsewhere – gillette venus wrote the fantastic words (not me), then found a real poet to perform it (me!). :)

Canvas of Words Preserving Our Roots

Ever since I first met writer, curator, and Queens powerhouse Wendy Angulo when I was organizing my Queens Literary Town Hall last October – I admired her strength, fire, and drive. One year since then, I’m so thrilled to announce that I am a featured poet in the lineup of Wendy’s next Canvas of Words show: PRESERVING OUR ROOTS!

On its third installment, Canvas of Words hits Queens, New York also known as “The Melting Pot” with CULTURE, HISTORY and IDENTITY.

Distinguished and Emerging Performance Poets will share their ROOTS as they take on a journey of filled with TRADITION & HISTORY. The journey will include “the American Dream” and the importance of preserving CULTURE, HISTORY and IDENTITY when achieving it.

A graffiti exhibition by visual artist Lawrence Hossanah Myse follows the themed show and will surround the stage and audience. Musicians and dancers will also join the arts and through their craft show the importance of preserving ROOTS to keep history alive.

The night will be a celebration of cultural diversity.

Hosted by “Advocate of Wordz”

Featuring: Bonafide Rojas, Annette Estevez, Rafael Landron, Roya Marsh, Modesto “Flako” Jimenez, Audrey Dimola, Cindy “Black Angel” Peralta, Carmen Taveras Molina and Nefertiti Asanti.

Produced by Wendy Angulo Productions & Robleswrites
Saturday October 11, 2014 from 7:30pm to 10:30pm
at the Victoria Congregational Church, 144-64 87th Avenue, Jamaica, NY 11435.

Tickets available at Eventbrite.com
**SPECIAL 2 TICKETS FOR $20 Fri Oct 3rd – Sun Oct 5th**!!
Advance Tix $12 (thru Oct 10), $20 at the door

FACEBOOK INVITE


Into the wild wonderland…

Celebrated as “a wildfire in a world of fluorescent bulbs” and a “poetic force of nature,” Queens, NYC native Audrey Dimola is a shamanically-inclined poet, performer, curator, local arts advocate, community organizer, and lifelong artist, as well as Director of Public Programs at Long Island City’s Socrates Sculpture Park. // Thanks so much for stopping by! You’ll find all my work on this website, past and present, as well as new blog posts. Poetry, prose, videos, events, photos, articles – it’s all here. // STAY WILD, STAY GRATEFUL!

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ABOUT
Pleased to meet you..!

POETRY & PERFORMANCE
Poetry & prose, live performance videos

PROJECTS
Compass Project, Nature of the Muse, THE WILD PAPERS, #poetsinthewildnyc & more

EVENTS
Full list of upcoming & past events

ARTICLES & MEDIA
Features, reviews, interviews, essays in print & online; blog posts; video interviews

CURATING
Original events I've curated like Nature of the Muse & the Queens Literary Town Hall

PRESS
Coverage of my work - print, blogs, TV!

CONTACT ME!
Info, mailing list, testimonials, specialties

MY BOOKS
My collections of poetry & prose

My Books

I have two poetry & prose collections for sale, proudly self-published. Like what you read? Support an indie!

Decisions We Make While We Dream (2012)

TRAVERSALS (2014)

WILDLIGHT coming soon

Compass Project Poetry Stickers

As of February 2012, I've been sticking my Compass Project poetry and prose stickers up around NYC & sending them around the world! Have you seen some? Want some? Find out more!