are you ready, brothers & sisters?!

mashups

tis the season for thanks and i’m grateful for new opportunities to STRETCHHH those creative muscles, especially as the fall & winter set in. don’t let your heart go cold! the photo above is from the first ever MASHUPS performance (an interdisciplinary experiment of artists collaborating on the spot!) at queens council on the arts which was a night i will NEVER forget- MASSIVE love to my collaborators & the audience we vibed with <3

nature of the muse

TONIGHT! 11/12 7:30-9:30pm
NATURE OF THE MUSE reading & live writing show
by the FIRE in the carriage house at LIC Bar @ 45-58 vernon blvd in LIC
[facebook invite] *flyer by gianna ligammari!
feat: writers yi wu, tippy rex, sydney hartlove nichols, timothy bell & steven licardi with special musical guests janna pelle & luca difabio!
called ‘one of the most exciting literary events in the city’ by BORO mag, 5 writers will share their previously written work and then write LIVE from random prompts written by YOU, the audience! plus fantastic musical guests. ignite your MUSE with us!

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NEXT WEEK! 11/18 8:30-10:30pm
THE RISE OF NEON REBEL/ a gathering of creatives
Q.E.D. a place to show & tell @ 27-16 23rd ave in astoria
[facebook invite]
my BFF & fellow rebel artist nick neon is returning from korea after 7 years and we’re formally kicking off our NEON REBEL collective of wild hearts making their own luck, supporting each other, and changing the world with their work and art. BE A PART OF THIS!! we’ll be partying at Q.E.D., sharing, inspiring, discussing, presenting, plotting future projects, and enjoying special guest speakers: sam from good.clean.fun, kenny from road to greatness, valerie from naked in alaska & monica from museum of impact PLUS music from spells & curses and other shenanigans!

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if you are constantly dreaming of ‘somewhere else’ – FIND that somewhere else. i promise it’s out there. because when you take steps in the direction of those things or places that bring you joy, you realize it was never about locating that somewhere else on a map. it was about FINDING YOURSELF and thus unlocking one of the most precious gifts of all- being at home everywhere. with all people, all things. wandering, far and wide- it doesn’t matter. you realize you’re not running away from anything, like they said you were. you are endlessly seeking because you are seeking yourself endlessly and perfectly reflected in all things. yes, this is the journey that never stops. why should it? you find yourself- your true self- over and over again, in doing the things you really love. in daring yourself, shattering the ego, doing the work, taking the chances, pushing the edges. REALITY IS MALLEABLE, PEOPLE. and the more you purely push and investigate your mystery, the more you’ll see the rules bend until you forget what rules were in the first place…

‘ordinary life does not interest me’ ..

are you coming with? ;)

XO

a.

Discovery: it’s whatever you want it to be.

There is so much I want to say about TRAVERSALS, the launch, new adventures and struggles and challenges, but first.. This.

heartwall

Remember the way it was when you were a kid.

I like this concept of the personal essay. I don’t like that my computer is forcing me to use upper-case I’s. But I digress.

I can’t stop dipping back into the past. But with recent readings I feel better about my constant sense of longing. I am at odds.. I am the ennui-obsessed artist constantly stretching fingertips towards the sky. However I also have been so lucky to learn about Eastern philosophies and all of those New Age-y teachings that have thankfully become so much more prevalent now.. BE GRATEFUL. For what you have. Inherently does that mean – don’t REACH?

I feel bad for reaching. Guilt. Something I always tangle with.. How can I be the fully present, open-eyed, grateful yogini while also grappling with the sense of ennui that makes me create? (And get into trouble…) I think I need to accept – they are both part of me. There is no grand transformation that is one day going to occur to make me think and feel the way I’m “supposed to” to live a better, fuller life.

I am a wildchild. That means many things.. That means embracing all parts of myself – the stillness of the forest, the tumble of the river, the CRASH of a waterfall.

I am everything.

oliver

And this is why I cannot stop reaching towards the past. Although I was not exempt from anxieties, fears of mortality, insomnia, boredom, etc etc etc – there was something different. Something us “grown-ups” are always trying to get back.

When you were little – when you wanted to do something, you did it. Even though you had no money of your own and little means besides imagination, household objects, and whatever your parents or loved ones gave you.. I remember. Without training or schooling or funds or qualifications – you just were.

If you wanted to be a photographer, you took pictures. If you wanted to be a dancer, you danced. An acrobat, a writer, a choreographer, a teacher, an explorer, a singer.. There was no knee-jerk reaction to stop yourself and say, waitwaitwait – I can’t be THAT because I am THIS. Or I don’t have enough money, time, resources, influence, on and on. And my personal favorite – who am I to think I can be X, Y, or Z? Who the hell do I think I AM?

Why, would you look at that. Who the hell do I think I am? Whatever I want to be.

innerchild

I feel like the actions we took when we were little are a wonderful compass to follow when it comes to direction for the rest of our lives – because we truly did what we wanted to, without worrying about what anyone else would think. At least I did.

I was Renaissance woman before I even truly knew what the Renaissance was. I was a singer, poet, playwright, director & stage manager, athlete, obstacle course organizer, amusement park builder, adventure leader, teacher, circus coach. Imaginary figure skater. Radio DJ.. I always come back to this because I need to REMEMBER. We all do.

When we are spinning out in life.. Trace your way back to your little self – the being who did whatever gave them JOY. Would your kid self waste time with things they didn’t want to do? Naw. And I’m not talking about quitting your job! Running into the hills! Never paying bills! I’m talking about.. Connecting to your true self, which I think is so pure when you’re a child. Connect to that self, and dream boldly the way you used to. Do what you can, where you are – the way you did when you were a child. A blanket becomes a fort. Your living room becomes the woods. A pile of pillows is the ocean to dive into. Need palm trees for the beach? Draw them, cut them out, and stick them up on the wall. Not good enough? We didn’t even have a second to consider it..

It sounds so rudimentary but with our world constantly beating us up and dumbing us down and distracting usย – we FORGET! Ah, God, always – we forget. We clutter ourselves with CONDITIONS, CIRCUMSTANCES, dare I say EXCUSES! But you know what?

It’s okay.

Because just like you changed from a mermaid into a unicorn with the flick of a wrist when you were a kid – you can change your circumstance. The slightest, tiniestย efforts – they matter.

Some days – they just suck. You know it. I know it. But infuse your life with that little kid magic.. You haven’t lost it. Even if you have to search down deep in the darkestย caverns of your mind..

Your inner child is waiting with a lantern.. and the promise of ADVENTURE.

light

GO!

XO

a.