tonight i truly felt my feet planted firmly on the ground, with my channel open to the stars. rooted and yet stretched to the infinite.
this morning i felt called to just speak. speak plainly. so often, especially as poets, we get in our own way, spin complex metaphors, sometimes hieroglyphic layers of meaning.. when do we just deliver the message- where we are, as we are?
this is what i spoke tonight at my new friend yuko’s fantastic FREEDOM show.. after which i have been vibing with beautiful and talented people i am so grateful to have in my life, new friends i am grateful to have met. and dancing around my apartment to steely dan at 2am. (yup)
FREEDOM is one of the divine’s broadest and farthest-reaching gesticulations in our universe.
it is an energy that- once you tap into- makes anything possible.
i personally have time after time fallen prey to the idea that once you identify and claim the precious and wild idea of FREEDOM… BANG! it’s done. you get it, and you’re free. forever.
doesn’t totally work that way.
the beautiful thing about freedom is that it finds you.
this is not about being positive, free, and triumphant forever, from the moment you claim it to the rest of your life. it’s about the reality that nothing is linear and “solvable” in that way.
freedom is really about honesty with yourself for where you actually are. and that’s why freedom is so powerful. it can find you in the darkness. at the end of your rope. inside a jail cell. in recovery. with the knife in your hand. on top of a bridge. in therapy. laying next to you in your own grave.
it’s not about being consumed with shame and fear and loathing for ending up there, for not “staying free.”
it’s about meeting yourself where you actually are and realizing that true freedom is the voice that whispers to you- get up. don’t jump. stay awhile. love yourself.
and focusing your gratitude and energy on that regenerative spirit is what will really keep you free.
i believe we are all messengers, shamans, teachers, healers.
the freedom in being yourself, being honest with yourself, is a direct conduit to the divine. the soul of the universe.
i say to the lightworkers, the lightbringers, which we all are- don’t get caught up in only bringing light, and the shame and disillusionment when you don’t, or can’t. the world needs your warrior songs, your songs of struggle, your trials by fire, too.
that is your real duty.
stand as you are. speak as you are. and bring it to the world.
and then i read this [brand new poem] written on xmas wkend before i slipped into some heavy, heavy darkness.
thankfully- i slipped back OUT from that paradigm like a bad, bad dream. and here we are. a few short days from the new year. .. still listening to steely dan.
You call me a fool
You say it’s a crazy scheme
This one’s for real
I already bought the dream
So useless to ask me why
Throw a kiss and say goodbye
I’ll make it this time
I’m ready to cross that fine line
This is the night of the expanding man
I take one last drag
As I approach the stand
I cried when I wrote this song
Sue me if I play too long
This brother is free
I’ll be what I want to be
[things coming soon // including CHURCH OF THE SACRED BODY]