there’s something strange that rides on the edge of disaster.
a kind of hope, in the distance, in the blinders.
in the windshield promise of the open road.
the fact that even in the heartache..
things change.
again – we were in the car, me shotgun, outside my house. impressionable in college, anyway. i let you cut my hair and you butchered it. but you said: “if nothing changes, nothing changes.” your mom, passed on, told you that. and you stillย wore a few strandsย of her greyed hair inside your necklace.
i wonder what i would do if i could pull apart what we are – what parts would i take? wear around my neck? crystallize? lift up to the shelf where all of our myriad objects from journeys get left.
i was moving my clothes and your terracotta incense burner shaped like a church fell. and broke.
i wonder.
the heart is not a metaphor, they say.
what about everything else?
there is a strange promise in the artery of heartbreak.
even in the severing, you take comfort in the fact..
you’ll bleed new blood.
it doesn’t mean –
never trust again.
it doesn’t mean –
never love again.
it just means..
there are more mirrors in this house than i expected.
but i realize now how easy it is for you to look past your own reflection.
isn’t it funny, how we all always say –
i thought i knew you?
maybe it’s not even possible – to know.
it’s just whatever strand of light hits the glass first.
XO
a.