MIRRORS

published in my 2nd book, TRAVERSALS

written for the stage, debuted at my WORLD OF WORDS: QUEENS event, april 12th, 2014. performed in collaboration with dancers choreographed by my dearest kymberly nolden. a piece with a power beyond me.. the piece that set me free.

you can’t touch me –

I AM INFINITE.

i do not believe in “the last time.” i have realized this..

the intersections of myself – all sharp angles stretching restless, jagged, spiking off the page – they are splitting through the universe as i am pouring endless through the cracks, watching as it happens.

hand smashing through glass, i am staring into myself, spilling into eternity

hand smashing through glass, spilling into eternity

hand smashing through glass, howling for your being

the source of all this phantom-ness in me..

i could have a thousand last times with you and still come back clawed and aching, the metal shell casing my heart clattering with words unsaid, letters, fists, expired film now wildly spooling, splotchy and black.

the atmosphere is rumbling outside like the war in the pit of my stomach and i just want to know that there’s a place we can be beautiful again.

the rest of me is closing its eyes, clenching shut, but i am wrenching open this doorway with the last of my strength –

i am not made of blood and bones, and you cannot make me hold you and say goodbye.
this space of eternal goodbye, we live in limbo –

we live in limbo, this space of eternal goodbye..

suffused, we are splitting at the edges, desperate, the only force that gets our pendulum to swing –

i, am chasing you with wings on my feet, your chariots of fire – flickering through this fever dream.

maddened by visions – chars still staining my fingers, smoke still bound to my hair, i – am stumbling, perpetual, after what we were –

wide awake and aching, light writhing in the flesh

light writhing in the flesh –

hand smashing through glass, i am staring into myself, spilling into eternity

hand smashing through glass, spilling into eternity..

i am in the space between your fingers, the exhalation between your tears, the reverberations in the hollows left behind.

leafing through the pages of my life, all it takes is the curve..

all it takes is the curve of one stray thought, word, note, image, one stray hand against my cheek

and all of a sudden, all of a sudden, all of a sudden –

your name, every one i called out to the ceiling – each one rimmed with tears and disaster, is a –

hook snagged and rusted, a chain jerked and pulling, dragging and dragging me – back – to the ground.

it was never ENOUGH.

bloody hands and arms and fingers, flesh pincushion stuck with past shards and future fears, i am staring at you, unrecognizing – somehow, somehow inside this warring heart i know, the architect built something inside me too – the metal in this suit of golden armor, this affirmation

you can’t touch me – I AM INFINITE

light writhing in the flesh, i am standing before our mirror

and god help any force that dares to stop me

you can’t touch me – I AM INFINITE

i will create a new world

from all my shattered pieces

you can’t touch me – I AM INFINITE

i will create a new world

INFINITE –

a world in which you are

TRAPPED

on the other side
of the glass.