Miss you, love you

It doesn’t get any easier – but the love gets stronger.. And stronger.

missing you

it’s the little things
that catch you
off-guard..
walking in to see
your saint jude
and cross candle
on the kitchen table
near a stack
of photos,
the frame i bought you
that played
“you are my sunshine”
the way you always
sang it to me..
and the last
letter i wrote you
on the flowery stationery
you sent me,
in the little purple envelope –
letting you know
that i could never say
goodbye.
your possessions
now here –
without you..
striking the match
to illuminate the
contrast
between our two worlds.
now –
we light your candle
for you
the way you did for us
every morning –
closed your eyes
and held saint jude
to your
beautiful face,
speaking your prayers
in your mind –
which is now the
only precious space
we can still hear you.
call out, forever love,
call out loud,
because we are
all listening..
every day through this
never-ending winter,
and every single day
after that.
– ajd, 1/12/12

I miss you, beautiful Nanny. So, so much.

Right now

This just about sums it up.

becoming
with thanks to rilke, neruda, rumi

i am experiencing
the strangest
purity
of spirit –
like staring
into the face of
rilke’s angel,
so terrifying in
its beauty
and absoluteness.
i somehow feel
surged with the
energy
that could
launch me over
a cliff –
and, laughing,
i would descend –
and in
so doing –
float right back.
i feel like
i am in danger of
becoming
detached –
free-wheeling,
“heart broke loose,”
ancient
whirling dervish
spouting the
metaphysical
that is becoming
so much more
real
than the
real.
what is the
actual
danger here?
i am
propelled
by a force
that is
beyond and
within me –
i could lose it
all
but somehow
still
walk on.
perception is
pried loose
from the bonds
we make –
suddenly
there is such
grace
in the wildness.
the order without
order
sharpens
before our eyes..
the step,
sometimes –
it’s that easy
to take.
– ajd, 1/25/12

A poem for today

The weather is gorgeous and uncharacteristically warm in NYC today. Amazing, really – and exactly what I needed.. In the cab heading into the city reading the intro to a book containing Rilke’s Duino Elegies and Sonnets to Orpheus (stunning), I wrote this..

transfiguration

there is a purpose
cracking open
inside of me
in the squint of
the sun
the rumble of tires
on road
the electric sheen
of the river
in the morning
with city from end
to end –
this glimpse
of the green in the
gray –
ephemeral spirit
of spring,
it tells me –
you will not lose
yourself to this
season.
and if you do
it will be
to find a side of
yourself
that would otherwise
remain
forever hidden –
and unchanged.
i trust
through the ache
that splits the
heart
as the sprout
heaves its first
breath
of unbearable
newness..
i trust
as i always have
in some corner
of myself
that sometimes pain
can transfigure the
soul
even more than
joy.
– ajd, 1/24/12

The power of creativity..

..always affects me – but sometimes more deeply than others.

I am very lucky to be infinitely inspired by the amazing people I know in this life, and the amazing works of art and literature created by people I never had the chance to know.. but still feel so close to.

First off I just want to point quickly to two such people – my best friend Nick (NJ) Calder who just returned from years in South Korea with an incredible feature length film under his belt – Fear Eats The Seoul! Please consider checking out and donating to his Kickstarter campaign to raise funds to ship the film out to festivals and secure a vaster audience. I’d also like to shine the spotlight on my relatively new friend and fellow writer Michael Stahl who is pumping his fantastic writing out across the internet – and happily also into my site, SUGAR -N- THUNDER! ;) Check out his killer column, DeFaced, by clicking here. His latest post is on a subject I feel very passionate about – that is unexpectedly illustrated by LEGO ads…

I’ve also been writing a lot lately and I’d love to make it a point to share more with you. My first book of poetry and prose is still forthcoming and I can’t wait to do more readings, but in the meantime I want to share at least some of what I write in between..

* I wrote a piece called circles on New Year’s Day, reflecting on the year ahead, the continuity of all things, and some ever-welcome wisdom from one of my all-time favorites, R.W. Emerson.

* I also felt spurred to write this creative call to arms for 2012 on SUGAR -N- THUNDER.

* And last month I lived through the saddest day of my life to date. My beloved Nana passed away and I had the opportunity to read a piece I wrote about her at her memorial. It was one of the greatest honors of my life, if not the greatest honor – just knowing that my mere mortal words could come close to capturing the essence of such a larger than life soul..

I am learning more and more about the power of words everyday – it’s something I don’t take lightly, something I am eternally grateful for. I wrote this the other night on my (freezing cold) walk home..

the words
that sound
out of place
to you now
will later help you
remember
the things you thought
you’d never forget.
so for your
future self
and all your other
selves –
write in the moment
and claim
every bit of life
as yours.
– ajd, 1/18/12

It’s only just begun.. And I am looking forward to it all.

Getting styled by Sammy Davis Vintage!

Happy 2012, everyone!

I wanted to share a really fun video I was a part of last month. The fabulous Sammy Davis of SammyDavisVintage.com – a killer blog dedicated to spreading vintage love to newbies, diehards, shop owners, and everyone in between – styled me in vintage at NYC boutique A Little Wicked in a video for her site!

We had a BLAST – watch the video below. Click HERE for Sammy’s post and HERE for mine on SUGAR -N- THUNDER!

More soon!

My story in a Queen book!

I’ve been a HUGE Queen fan since I was 12 and I am honored and thrilled to have my story included in Bohemian Rhapsodies, a brand new book of true tales by Queen fans and celebrities!

I wrote about my experience performing as Queen’s irreplaceable frontman Freddie Mercury at the first two Official North American Queen conventions when I was 14 and 15 years old!

Click here to read the story in its entirety!

And while I have you.. Happy Holidays & Happy New Year to all! Much more to come.

November already…

Keeping busy, busy, busy:

Reading at Boundless Tales was such a pleasure (and I always love reading on home turf!) – big thanks again to the lovely Aida and the talented writers I shared the stage with that night!

SUGAR -N- THUNDER is crankin’ on its video content which means I’m interviewing up a storm, and the rest of The Bang & The Clatter interviews have been posted – check out the latest here, and believe me there is more to come!

I’m also very excited to be co-hosting SUGAR -N- THUNDER’s first event: the NYC/USA premiere of NJ Calder‘s “Fear Eats The Seoul” on Dec 3rd at eGarage in LIC! If you haven’t heard of this film OR conversely if you’re a friend of NJ’s check this out!

Finally – I’m putting my voice forward and working on some sounds – fun covers, collabs, and more. Here’s a quick, one-take a capella video I did of me singing some of my favorite songs/vocalists.

Until next time.. !

Let it be known!

– Getting to read at BOWWOW was fantastic. Thanks so much to Queens Poet Laureate Paolo Javier for the intro and shoutouts! Diverse talent and really great things going on there – do check them out next month!

– As aforementioned, I’m making a very happy return to video interviewing! Check out the latest for SUGAR -N- THUNDER (Lefty Lucy/Miss Coney Island!) and The Bang & The Clatter (first band from our AM&A footage, Everlovin’ Savages!). More to come!

– My next reading (poetry & debuting a prose piece) is for Boundless Tales at Waltz-Astoria on October 27th! Big thanks to Aida – more info here; FB invite here.

I’m currently looking for a small press to publish my first book of poetry and prose, from 2000 onward. Any leads, please share!

Happy Fall, ladies & gents.