Every man’s condition is a solution in hieroglyphic to those inquiries he would put. -the always incredible R.W. Emerson

It has been a very strange time for me lately. Let me preface that by saying – National Poetry Month was incredible, insane, wonderful, beautiful. And the days leading up to it, too – so much happened, so many events, performances, new pieces written.. I am grateful, beyond grateful.

But two things just happened that have forced me to put on the brakes. One – my phone got stolen, and two, directly after – I’ve been struggling through one of the worst times being sick I can ever remember. Perspective changers, either way.

This is a case for taking time. For saying STOP. For remembering who is ACTUALLY in control. For feeling that THIS. IS. TOO. MUCH. And realizing that it’s OKAY.

Technological ADD. The noise that doesn’t stop. Your mind split into a thousand places. Notifications. Txts. Emails. Calls. Multiple email accounts. Google chat. Facebook messages. Instagram. Every single way to contact a person, ever. Updating this, updating that. I was a list of to-do’s. Events to run to. Things to promote. I wasn’t taking care of myself. It wasn’t fun anymore. It was endless.

But it doesn’t have to be.

The phone was stolen and because I got so sick I just – didn’t get a new one. I suddenly didn’t want one. I needed to rewire my brain – or at least try to.

“THIS” – the clutter, the documenting instead of living, the constant voices/words/text, the endless notifications, the obsessive checking and updating, the knee-jerk reaction to pull out your phone and monitor something, the conscious/unconscious avoidance of stillness/silence, the zoning out on news feeds for hours, the 100% WASTING of your life and your time – THIS doesn’t matter.

THIS – life, STOPPING, breathing, laying in the sun, enjoying the world without having to update about it or take a picture and send it somewhere, focusing on ONE THING at a time, your family, your friends, your loved ones. Being healthy. Getting your life back on track. Using technology in a more progressive/positive way, controlling IT without it controlling YOU.. THIS matters.

And so I will try to be a better me, for me.

But if you read this, I urge you to take a shot and reexamine the way you’re living. Can you go without a phone for a night? Can you keep your pledge to check Facebook only once a day? Can you be okay with your entire social network not buzzing in your ears for a second? Without being able to be reached in every possible way, at every possible moment?

PLEASE note – in no way do I mean to pass judgment on anyone who lives tethered to their technology or, alternatively, throws it out the window. At the end of the day, in all situations, you have to do what works for YOU, and what you realize on your OWN time, in your OWN way. It’s not going to work or make sense otherwise.

That said – if you feel inclined, just do some experimenting with yourself. If you feel stuck, un-stick it. Try. Just try. You’ll be happy you at least got some movement and perspective out of it. Whatever way we “think” we are – we don’t have to be.

When I was in my early college years I still remember sitting shotgun in my friend’s car one night outside my house as she told me what her mother always used to say: If nothing changes, nothing changes. I can’t let myself forget.

Love and gratitude always for your support

Be well –

XO

a

National Poetry Month! It’s here again.. It’s been a beautiful time of writing, productivity, and connections. I am excited and grateful for what these next months will bring.

“NATURE OF THE MUSE” is THIS THURSDAY! Thank you again to all the local media outlets who have been so, so kind to help promote – Newtown Literary Journal generously ran this piece they recently invited me to post on their great and growing blog, and BORO Mag featured it online and on their FB, calling it “one of the most exciting literary events in the city” (!!!) – but you can come on down and find out for yourself ;)

Newtown Literary is also throwing a fantastic fundraiser/series of local writing events called QUEENS WRITES! It’s next weekend, April 13th and 14th and if you’re a writer or literary person you should BE THERE! More info here. They’re also publishing my piece, “requiem (soon to be)” in their Spring/Summer ’13 issue!! EXCITED!

Cristian Zink of The Queens Ink by Liz Nieves

My longtime friend/collaborator Liz Nieves (of glitter unicorn photo fame) & I recently launched a webzine called GLITTER & DOOM featuring photos and interviews with everyday creatives + special content to come! Check it out!

Local arts collective Mission to (dit)MARS made me their Featured Artist and ran a great little interview! Check it out here. I also had the true pleasure of attending the inaugural event in their Launch Pad Reading Series for playwrights – Courtney Lauria’s “Bridges & Boundaries” really struck me. It was poignant, timely, funny – well-written, acted, and directed. Loved the concept and looking forward to more! Check out their website for info.

AND MORE EVENTS THIS MONTH! APRIL 18 I’ll be hosting @ Boundless Tales Reading Series in Astoria and on APRIL 20 I’ll be reading @ Oh, Bernice! Reading Series in Sunnyside. YES!

You never know where life will lead you next… @audreyleopard on Instagram

Infinite love & gratitude always!

See you ’round town-

XO a.

PS: I am also overflowing with joy and gratitude for my beautiful mom who had an amazing opportunity to present the work she does at the NEWLIFE EXPO, America’s largest mind, body & spirit expo, last month. If you need some good vibes or energy blockages removed (and much more) – please talk with her or check out her upcoming event on APRIL 26. So beyond proud.

(ps – happy, happy, HAPPIEST spring)

XO

a.

there is something to be said for the PROMISE of this moment – walking over the queensboro bridge alone at night – cars whizzing past, cerulean expanse dotted with infinite beacons of light – i feel it – opening up, and i break out into a run, smiling so hard i nearly cry, breathing cold air into beating heart, gazing upwards to moon glowing in hazy cloud-smoke between turrets of dizzying urban ingenuity, and this – i breathe, i feel, i KNOW – this is LIVING. this is my one precious life. everything inside me is rushing forward and i just want to fling my arms out in the spirit of perpetual motion and HOWL from the depths of me, but i just – marvel, marvel, marvel…

i am here.

i am enough.

<3

Holding my book in my hands still makes me sentimental sometimes. I am constantly chasing dreams – relentlessly. One after another.

But this is the dream I had since I was a little girl – realized. We’ll be coming up on a year since it was released, soon…

I wanted to share this stanza from the Tenth Elegy in Rilke’s incredible Duino Elegies, which are honestly just too stunning to put into words. I feel like I could read them a thousand times and still come up with something new to strike me.

“Someday, emerging at last from the violent insight,
let me sing out jubilation and praise to assenting angels.
Let not even one of the clearly-struck hammers of my heart
fail to sound because of a slack, a doubtful,
or a broken string. Let my joyfully streaming face
make me more radiant; let my hidden weeping arise
and blossom. How dear you will be to me then, you nights
of anguish. Why didn’t I kneel more deeply to accept you,
inconsolable sisters, and, surrendering, lose myself
in your loosened hair. How we squander our hours of pain.
How we gaze beyond them into the bitter duration
to see if they have an end. Though they are really
our winter-enduring foliage, our dark evergreen,
one season in our inner year–, not only a season
in time–, but are place and settlement, foundation and soil
and home.”

So precious… Happy Tuesday, all.

XO a.

Wanted to share this beautiful Hafiz poem with you:

The sky
Is a suspended blue ocean.
The stars are the fish that swim.

The planets are the white whales I sometimes
Hitch a ride
On,

The sun and all light
Have forever fused themselves into my heart
And upon my
Skin.

There is only one rule on this Wild Playground,

Every sign Hafiz has ever seen
Reads the same.

They all say,

“Have fun, my dear; my dear, have fun,
In the Beloved’s divine
Game,

O, in the Beloved’s
Wonderful
Game.”

(translated by Daniel Ladinsky)

XO a.

there is a point in hurting. there is a point in writing, in reading through the moments that still make you ache. in sharing and cracking open, emptying your soul into a warm glass for loved ones and strangers alike to partake. in standing outside alone with the amber lights and the glistening tree branches and the snow blowing directly towards you, into your hair and eyelashes, the heart of you full and stirred into a fervor because in actuality, in real reality- this matters, always has mattered, always will. thank all the gods and the god inside me- for the hurting, the healing, the depth and spectra, the calm and perfect storms inside the WRITTEN WORD.

ajd
3.7.13

(great readings this week – great connections, great feelings

sending all the love back out and around again..)

XO

a.

Audrey Dimola presents:

the second edition of
NATURE OF THE MUSE
a reading & live writing event

Thursday, April 4th
doors @ 7:30pm (event is 1hr & a half)
FIRESIDE at LIC Bar‘s carriage house!

Celebrate the end of winter and invoke spirits of warmth for spring!

What makes us write? What is the nature of inspiration? These are themes we play with in “NATURE OF THE MUSE.” At this cozy fireside literary event, you’ll be treated to two sides of each local Queens writer’s talent: their previously written poetry and prose, but ALSO what they can churn out on the spot – yes, live writing!

You, the audience, will have the opportunity to contribute a writing prompt to the pool – each writer will receive a random prompt and have to write from it on the spot (as you would at a writing workshop), and present to the audience at the end.

You write the prompts, they write a piece – amusement ensues… JOIN US!

Featuring:
Aida Zilelian-Silak
Joe Yoga
Tim Fredrick
Greg Kirkorian

+ special guests
Siobhan O’Loughlin
Tam Lin/Paul Weinfield

+ music
+ more

hosted by Audrey Dimola
and with much thanks to Gus Rodriguez!

No cover – 1 drink minimum

**if you like the idea of multi-disciplinary collaboration, creative improvisation, or reading/performing your work in general at a future ‘Nature of the Muse’ event please email audrey.dimola@gmail.com (not limited to writers either – musicians, playwrights, actors, etc!)

FB INVITE

STAY WILD – one shot from the “world as notebook” series – more here

Ladies & gents!

Been a long winter (doesn’t it always seem that way…?) but I am ready for spring and summer in full force.

You must not fear, hold back, count or be a miser with your thoughts and feelings. It is also true that creation comes from an overflow, so you have to learn to intake, to imbibe, to nourish yourself and not be afraid of fullness. The fullness is like a tidal wave which then carries you, sweeps you into experience and into writing. Permit yourself to flow and overflow, allow for the rise in temperature, all the expansions and intensifications. Something is always born of excess: great art was born of great terrors, great loneliness, great inhibitions, instabilities, and it always balances them. – Anaïs Nin

And so – thus! Here are some wonderful things I would be so honored to see any of your beautiful presences at in the coming months…

Reading at REZ Reading Series, March 7 – So happy to be reading at the re-launch of this Kew Gardens series! Here’s their Facebook page and a new article about the history of the series and plans for the future.

(APRIL IS NATIONAL POETRY MONTH!)

NATURE OF THE MUSE, April 4 – My reading and live writing event RETURNS! Celebrate the end of winter and invoke spirits of warmth for spring, one more time by the fire at LIC Bar – can’t wait! Featuring local writers: Aida Zilelian-Silak, Tim Fredrick, Joe Yoga, and Greg Kirkorian with special guests Siobhan O’Loughlin and Tam Lin/Paul Weinfield, music & more! 7:30pm, more details here.

Hosting at Boundless Tales Reading Series, April 18 - One of my favorite things to do ;) I hosted for Boundless‘ founder Aida twice last summer and am reprising the role – my participation in this series has led to so many amazing friends, opportunities, and connections and I am forever grateful and thankful to be a part of it!

Reading at Oh, Bernice!, April 20 – Another relatively new reading series in Queens – Oh, Bernice mixes it up and has a great following! Further details soon (general info is here), but I’m excited to be reading for them in April.

Coney Island Oasis event, May 11 – New frontiers! Designer/gift shop maven/Coney Island royalty Miss Lola Star and I are teaming up to bring an oasis to the Coney Island beach this summer! All free – featuring a yoga class taught by the amazing Dina Ivas (who has just embarked on an adventure in fitness fashion blogging!), spoken word, music – and a vegetarian potluck! All on the beach to kick off the summer in one of my all-time favorite places in NYC. More deets to come!

Hosting at Boundless Tales Reading Series, June 20 – AGAIN! :)

Reading at NYC Poetry Festival, July 27/28 – And speaking of.. I am so, so HONORED to be reading at the Poetry Society of New York’s NYC Poetry Festival (!!!!!!) on Governor’s Island thanks to Boundless Tales! Aiming to rep Queens and make ‘em proud!

I PROMISE there will be more surprises in between in the coming months.

Don’t let anyone impose their limits on you. Be free, be you. Create in the spirit of love and bask in the warmth of possibility…

With gratitude always,

XO a.

This necklace is my Valentine’s Day present to myself.

While seeking solace in the always beautiful NY Public Library in the city, I wandered into the gift shop and found this.

‘What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.’

The scribe? Emerson.. My favorite.

We so often get in our own way, unable to forgive ourselves for our pasts or rid ourselves of anxiety for the future. This is my reminder to give thanks and stay present - to forgive, accept, find peace, and keep walking.

All the power of the universe is right here, in our own heart.

Hoping always for happy, healthy hearts for you and yours.

XO

it is true that because of my doubts and anxieties i only believe in fire. […] life. fire. being myself on fire i set others on fire. never death. fire and life. –anaïs nin

Well, ladies and gents – we did it. I am so thrilled with the debut of “Nature of the Muse”!

THANK YOU to my wonderful and talented writers, Gus for encouraging me and giving the event a home, Ace for playing your gorgeous tunes, everyone who supported me and promoted the event, and of course the fantastic audience who wrote prompts, soaked in the atmosphere, laughed a lot, and packed the house (!!!) that night.

You can view the full program HERE.

There are so many moments frozen in my memory – all the laughter, my parents in the front row, making a toast to “fire and life” right before we began, on and on.. I am so grateful. And we are doing it AGAIN!

SAVE THE DATE! The next Nature of the Muse will be Thursday, April 4th @ 7:30pm, same place by the fire at LIC Bar! Squeezing one more toasty reading in before the Spring – more details to come! But first…

Lovely NZ/UK blogger and LIC transplant Eric Hathaway interviewed me and then wrote a great review of the show, complete with sound clips of all performers – please check it out HERE on his blog, Sometime in Long Island City! Here again is also the great piece Jeanmarie Evelly did for DNAinfo.com right before the event. Thank you both!

And – HERE ARE THE PROMPT POEMS!

Everyone in the audience wrote a random writing prompt on a slip of paper and I tossed them all into a bag. Then while one writer got up to read their previously written work, another writer took a random prompt and went downstairs to write. Each writer ended up having 10 mins or less to write, and then had to present their work to the audience at the end of the event, no matter what it was or what it sounded like. Quite a fun and sometimes unnerving experiment – thank you all for being so brave! ;)

MICHAEL STAHL

PROMPT:
I’ve been feeling so (blank) after all these happy hours

“I’ve Been Feeling So Happy After All These Happy Hours”

I’ve been feeling so happy
After all these happy hours.
Half-off everything at the bar
Right after work, you say?
Perfect.

More perfect than a healthy birth.
More perfect than a solid report card.
More perfect than an outdoor graduation on a sunny June day.
More perfect than an acceptance letter.
More perfect than an outdoor graduation on a sunny May day.
More perfect than having it all figured out.
More perfect than finding a new job.

Oh, I’ve been feeling so happy
After all these happy hours.

SWETA VIKRAM

PROMPT:
1) My last mortal thought will be…
2) Why I write

“Inside a poet’s heart”

My last mortal thought
wouldn’t be barren or boring,
justifying why I wrote poems
instead of signing marketing reports
that felt like a noose around my creativity.

Yes, I write to savor
the silence I need
to survive the noisy world.

Semicolons, prepositions, conjunctions
linger in cavities afraid of unsaid, insecure words
uttered by those
who don’t understand their unpleasantness
is what the poet uses
to birth this poem.

MICHAEL ALPINER

PROMPT:
1) Seeking a friend for the end of the world
2) Slings and arrows

The lovesong I sing
to tempt a friend to face the fire with me
is not wrought with bows and roses,
but with sunscreen and survival gear,
for the truest friend is one who dares
to face the flames of man’s worst fear.

I will hold her hand as the mountains quake.
I will kiss her lips as continents smash tectonic plates.
I will look into her beautiful eyes,
as a conflagration rages
both within my heart and my homeland.

I seek a friend who will survive with me,
scarred, blistered, wearing the acrid perfume
of sweat and burned hair.
And then the soliloquy echoes in my head:
to be or not to be,
but that is too trite for these days of dread.

Rather, we suffer the slings and arrows
of outrageous fortune,
my friend,
my lover who will wrap herself
like a lead blanket
shield me from this dreaded future
with her love.

CARRIE NOEL

PROMPT: The worst thing about you

if not now,
when?

the worst thing
is this.

it’s here.
right here.

how you stare at this page
and you trace lines and fold and scratch with your pen
and you wait
and wait
and wait.

you can’t see
in front of you
since your eyes
focus in and out and in and out
on the thoughts that trail you
and maim you.
and bind you to a place
you swore not to go.

the worst thing?
the worst thing?

the image you see in glass is
not like what the world sees.
you have them in your palm
but you shake to know you might
not keep them there.

the worst thing is the words
you won’t say
not for lack of ink
but for lack of trust.

this is the worst of you.

so i ask.

if not now,
when?

AUDREY DIMOLA

PROMPT: Funny Money

funny how
the money
is what we bleed for
yet what makes us bleed
the money
that saw me
hunched and tired
endless hours and computer screens
my head on the pavement
when i almost let it go -
fell down, passed out -
maybe, maybe
the stress was too damn much
or maybe, maybe
you get a little light-headed
when you spread your wings
for the first time
all vertigo and wild-eyed
gravity defiant
in search, in search
of dreams
with no monetary guarantees
but which remind you
god yes – remind you
of what it feels like
to be free.

PROMPT: Sex
(OF COURSE I got the “sex” prompt… which I had to read in front of my dad! Serves me right, I guess! ;))

pen on paper pales
to white hot heat inside
my memory
synapse fire
blazing bright
as the muse comes to
life
and somehow i feel it
deep inside my bones
that moment of release
if i could hold it, keep it,
clench my fists to sheets
what i’d give, my love
to always feel
the world inside
the quake
the shaken, brilliant
flame
that is
your skin on my skin
your precious breath
cracking open the cosmos
in the shape
of my name.

THANK YOU ALL again – many more events and projects coming your way.. As always, stay tuned – and stay WARM!

XO